October 19th

And then (some story left out... this is the edited version) there you were!

Beautiful. Warm. Squirmy. Crying.
Looking around like you were oh-so-puzzled at the scenery change.

Everything was so opposite the year before. It was stunning. Even a year later I can't quite wrap my mind around the significance of it all.

It was the 19th of October. One year (plus a half-hour) since the last time I felt your sister move.

Who am I to question the wisdom of a God who gave, then took and then gave again in an abundant and incomprehensible way?

I had to remind Daddy to get the camera. It was good it was ready to go - because all he wanted to do was stare at you. It is amazing he found it with his eyes trained on the warmer where our doctor was giving you your first check-up. :)

There were no tears for either of us, much to my surprise. I think I was just in shock that after everything - all the waiting, praying, fighting anxiety... you were here.

I called your Nana and Papa at 4 in the morning with the announcement that I was ready to tell them your name. :) They were the first of many who shed tears of joy one year ago with the words, "Praise God!".

And today, Peyton Grace Elaine, I shed tears of pure happiness for the gift of you.

Your preciousness is magnified one-million-fold because of the events that preceded your birth. I have been changed by God for you. You're sick and cranky with a runny nose... and I am still so humbled and awed by the opportunity to become your mother exactly one year after I had to say goodbye to Autumn.

Happy birthday, my little-love.