A Royal Tea Party

Peyton has been looking forward to today since yesterday.

What can I say? A two-year-old's world is small. :)

Anyway - we arranged to have our satellite reconnected at midnight so that we could get up and watch the wedding at 3:30 this morning. For all the cynics: it's history. The Royals are history - which has always fascinated Kurt and I - so it was worth it. :)

Last night, I made the Devonshire cream, and Kurt made the scones. Smoked up the whole house and had a little adventure trying to keep the smoke detector from waking up our kids - but that's another story. :)

The scones with Devonshire cream and raspberry jam! I was texting Jessica in Ontario who checked to see if I really got up as planned. :)

This morning, Kurt was the first one to get up - and had a little MI when the satellite wasn't connected yet - but the advantage of it being 3:30 am was that it was super-easy to get through to Shaw - and he had it hooked up by 3:45.

He and I watched Kate arrive, marveled at her super-classy dress (okay, more me than him - but he did say, "Yeah. That's a pretty nice dress, I guess.") and watched her walk down the aisle before Tenley made noise. She joined us for the actual service. :)

Playing with Daddy's face because she was bored waiting for the balcony kiss.

My Royal wedding watchers! :)

Anyway, Peyton woke up just after the kiss - but there were enough replays going around that she got to eat her scone and drink her tea (special for this morning) and watch the "pincess" get married.

Picnic: complete with tea and scones!

It obviously impacted her, too. 'Cause later she was crowning Tenley with a teething ring and announcing, "Oh Pincess Tenley - you look bee-u-tiful!"

I - for one- enjoyed the reading of scripture and the music (thought of you, Julie C.!!!) and seeing a young couple not greeted with overwhelming cynicism was a treat. They both exuded class and elegance - so different from Hollywood. To quote Kurt, "Kate Middleton is no Paris Hilton." Understatement, anyone? (lol)

It really is important to me to take joy the happiness of others. "Rejoicing with those who rejoice" is something scripture commands us to do. Heaven knows there's plenty to weep about on a regular basis. Especially lately. But having experienced people willing to do both - weep and rejoice - for our family - it feels good to wish a new family all the best. :)

So there you go! Fun times in the Manz house - even it was ridiculously early! :)

Getting There and Going Home

Two shots which - when I viewed them on a screen bigger than my Canon - brought tears to my eyes...

Pure joy.

My heart overflows with it.

Thank you, dearest Jesus, for these three precious gifts you have given me...

Until Death Part Us...

Go check out this post from Abraham's blog.
Keep the Kleenex box close by...

Isn't He Handsome?

Never mind. You don't have to answer that. :)

On another - and completely unrelated - note: 79 days! :-O

World Cup Switcheroo

For anyone concerned about the current state of my marriage: I've thrown my hat into the Germany ring now that both England and Ghana have been eliminated.

Kurt is thrilled - and a wise man to not cackle and rub his hands together. ;)

Go Deutschland.

(enthusiastic enough, Kurtie, my love?)

To Jessica in Super-Hot Ontario (i'm so unspeakably jealous)

It's probably gonna snow tonight, Jessica.
Just so you know, you picked a great time to leave. :) Not what we would normally expect for almost June. But at least it's green.

I say this over and over until I believe it.

I've been wearing my capris for work the last couple of days and all my clients are like, "Wow. You're so brave, summer-girl." and I don't even have the gusto to tell them that all I have pregnancy-wise is summer-clothes! I don't own a pair of long pants that I can wear comfortably for a whole day. I console myself by thinking about people that wear skirts in winter. I'm not that crazy.

Besides that: We got awesome pedicures so we could show them off in flip-flops, right? My lovely polish is gonna chip off because I've been wearing socks and shoes every day! Grrrr...

But I digress.
We invited Kiley over for supper and a game and/or movie tonight. Plus I want to order a ton of stuff of your website and I would like him to put the order in. :) We'll probably go for a game, 'cause I doubt that Kurt is going to stay awake for a movie no matter how good his intentions are. I literally dragged him off the couch the other night. Seriously. I used a move I hadn't utilized since I stopped working at the nursing home. :)

I also wanted to tell you that Peyton has started referring to you today as "Auntie-Kiley". And if I ask about Kiley she forcefully corrects me to day, "Uncle Kiley." So she does know the difference. :) I'm sure eventually you'll get your own name - but I do think it's quite hilarious how kids draw associations like that.

(For those of you eavesdropping on this letter to Jessica - one of Peyton's favorite words is "Kiley". She's been saying it perfectly for months and months. And once she got the hang of 'Auntie' a few weeks ago that has been Jessica's exclusive name. She has 2 aunties, but the other one is "Man-da". She knows who-is-who!)

Anyway, I suggested to Kurt that he BBQ burgers. He 'refused' until I bribed him with a batch of potato salad. The calender says it's summer - so we're gonna eat summer food!
Which is kinda easy for me to say since I do not stand out in the rain and slush - but I kinda think that is part of being a husband, don't you think? It's a fair trade-off for... oh... I don't know: Labour.

Touche, Kurt! Bah-ha-ha!

Anyway, hope you're having a great time and don't get too hot or sunburned or anything so horribly summer-ish happening to you. :)

love ya! ;-D

Seven Years Ago Today

(I'm on a theme)
While I wait for Kurt to get home so we can rush to the city for a good friend's wedding, I'm reminded of the anticipation this day held for me 7 years ago.

The guy I was madly in love with took me for a picnic, wrote me a poem, told me he loved me - asked me to marry him - and gave me a ring that to this day I still get compliments on. (I always say, "Yes. And he picked it out all by himself!" To which everyone says, "Ohhh!") Without a doubt, one of the best days of my life.

That memory has an all-encompassing happy haze around it that is a great place to re-enter if we're having some tough days.

What a ride.

Happy May 22nd, everyone.
But especially you, my hottie-hubby. :) I love you.

Za Wee Bump

... and Peyton saying, "Cheese!" She does that every time she sees a camera, now. :)

Pre-date last night - those are preggo jeans. I already have some of the stuff. Why not be comfortable, right? :) I'm only 13 weeks and I honestly look at least 16 or 18. Sigh.
Oh well - 3rd baby, right? Gotta love it!

Anyway - the movie was interrupted by a power-outage. It was so far so good... but we got theater credits to go see it again.
Or, as my husband casually suggested as we exited the lobby, "We could just rent this one at home and go see Robin Hood." Hmmmm...

It's okay. I actually prefer to watch movies at home. Eat my own food. Use my own bathroom. Wear my jammie-jams and get a back rub from Kurt - without having to sit elbow-to-elbow with strangers. Besides - I swear that theaters smell like feet. I deal with that enough for work.

Win. Win.

Oh - and one more pic that helps sum-up date night:
This is Kurt's face as he realized what the little "treat" of side-gravy for the fries cost us - a whopping $1.25 - lol!

I couldn't stop laughing after I looked at this picture. He's trying to be calm (it is "date night" after all) - but you can tell by his eyes that he's kinda freaking out on the inside.

Ahhhhh... I so love, love, love my thrifty German boy. :-D

Teamwork!

Please join me in saluting my daughter who took a nice long nap and allowed me to get ready for my date with her Daddy tonight.
I'm sure he'll appreciate shaved legs, washed hair, and a well-made-up wife.
I know I feel better. :)
Good job, Peyton! Way to be a team-player!

-- Kurt is such a great guy! He's taking me to 'Letters to Juliet'. Ahhhh! I'm so excited. :)

-- And yes - I did add a pregnancy ticker. Cute, huh? If B.III cooperates, I'll change it to be more gender specific in a few weeks. Until then: green will do. :)

Skiing Collage

Although I have no actual pictures from the hill, I think you can tell from our faces that we had a good time. :)

It's been 30 Years...

... Since God created this perfect man for me. :)

I wanted to do a list as has become my tradition for the past few years - corresponding with his age - the 30 things I love about him.
Alas, I have a child who is about to wake up from a nap and I'd rather just give one of my favorite memories from this year than be interrupted for the next week. :)
--

Allow me to paint the scene:

We were driving around Langley BC in a pounding rainstorm trying to find our hotel. The radio was playing pretty loud because, oddly enough, it seems to help Peyton stay asleep.

As the opening beats of a song came on, Kurt gasped and cranked the radio - even louder than it had been.

After looking in the backseat to make sure our sleeping child was still doing just that, (she was) I turned my eyes upon my husband who was now moving his head back and forth and tapping the steering wheel. It also registered that I didn't recognize the tune at all.

And so, I waited.

I have to say that although I knew Kurt went through a rap phase in high-school and first year of university - I had never been exposed to it.

Imagine my shock as my husband - perfectly in-sinc with the radio - proceeded to recite every world of Tupac Shakur's "California". With attitude.

When he saw my jaw drop, he only winked and proceeded to do the west-side hands while he spun his rhyme. (Is that the term?)

Oh. My.

It was super-duper cute, and still makes me smile almost 3 months later.
Who knew rap could be so sexy? I sure didn't! :)

So happy 30th birthday to my very-own 50-cent.
I love you, Kurt, 'cuz you just brighten my world. :)

"Still The One"

I become this man's wife 6 years ago.
I could be flippant and say, "best decision I ever made" - but I know it's a total God-thing. I couldn't have chosen so well for myself. :)

After the exhausting emotions of the week leading up to our anniversary, my husband did a wonderful, thoughtful and amazing thing: he took me away! :)
Peyton had her first overnight away from us (and did wonderfully, I might add) and Kurt and I made a getaway to Elk Ridge to stay in their (let us give a round of applause to my notoriously-frugal husband!) 4-star hotel. We went down the waterslide (the fastest one I've been on in my life), hot-tubed, ate well and (cough-cough) rekindled a little romance. It was - for lack of a better adjective - awesome.

Beautiful scenery notwithstanding, we both must have commented at least a dozen times how great it was to be with each other - and just each other. No appointments to keep, no rushing to work, no 1-year old needing attention, no meals to make... we loved every moment of it. :)

The last two anniversaries have kinda been write-offs. Obviously, two years ago we were burying Autumn, and last year we were in the middle of enjoying our newborn daughter.
Neither occasion left much time for us. And that's where it all started: becoming Mrs Manz is what put me on this life-path. There is no one else on earth so well-matched for me: no one who could have been such a comfort and joy to me over all the events of the past 6 years.

I love you, Kurt Manz. So very much. Thank you for choosing me, and living out the vows you said to me 6 years ago. Neither of us could have anticipated the valley we would walk through together - but even in the midst of turmoil (this past-week included) you are still the one who makes me smile, laugh and lift my heart heavenward. You cause me to reflect on Jesus and how good He is for giving us to each other. Happy 6th anniversary, Baby.

(Hmmm.... this reminds me I need to get these pants hemmed...)

A Tale of Two Bathrooms

We have three bathrooms in this house. Odd way to start a post, I know - but stick with me if you can...

When we moved here last year in May, I put all my stuff into the ensuite off of our bedroom - but Kurt decided to keep his toothbrush and other personal toiletries in he main bathroom off of the kitchen because there was very little room in the ensuite cupboard. We've been talking for a while about when Peyton and possible siblings (no! not yet!) start to use that bathroom more often he should move his stuff into "my" bathroom.

But honestly?

I'm kinda selfish with my space. I've got more stuff - and it tends to take up both drawers and under the sink. And since he never really complained about having to go to the other bathroom to put on his deodorant in the morning, it just kinda stayed that way.

But two weeks ago, we bought a toothbrush. Not just any toothbrush. A Phillips Sonic toothbrush. I haven't had this much fun brushing my teeth since I had those little chewy-things in grade 4 where all the guckies on your teeth became obvious. But this brush needs to plug in. So after much rearranging of the limited counter space in our bathroom, we made room for it - mainly because I was tired of going to the main bathroom to brush my teeth. (chuckle)

But that's not the point of this story. (Although it has taken up half a page already.)
The point is that while I was rearranging in order to put the Phillips Sonic toothbrush in our bathroom, I found space for his toiletries. (All 3 of them...)

So this morning - after I brushed my teeth and got happy, and he was finishing up getting ready for the day - I said to him, "I think you can move your stuff into this bathroom now."
He froze, and was like, "Seriously??
(I'm chuckling just remembering...)
And I was like, "Yeah - seriously. I cleared a space in the drawer."

So he went to the other bathroom and got this stuff and brought it back into our room. After he put his stuff in the drawer we just looked at each other and grinned like something momentous had happened. I threw myself in his arms and said what we were both thinking:

"We just moved in together!"

Romantic, no?
What can I say: after almost 6 years, you gotta take the excitement where you can. (lol!)

July (holy cow!) 17th

Some stuff:

- Second of 3 weddings to be attended this summer tomorrow. Congratulations Darcy and Sam!

- My girlie cannot decide where she wants to crawl or walk. Her newest thing is holding on to the furniture and then totally letting go - standing there for a while with no hands and then grabbing on to the furniture again and clapping while braced with her elbows. She's oh-so-proud of herself.

- Activia is a rip-off! They say to take the 14-day challenge but only sell sets of 12 and 24. So you HAVE to buy more! I love it though... I didn't realize what a good-tasting yogurt it was. But still!

- We're having a little bit of trouble keeping up with the yardwork with our schedules. Kurt actually phoned the neighbors last night to ask if he could cut his grass after 9pm. They were fine with it - but that was the soonest he could get out there. Sigh.

- I actually like the colder weather. I know the crops are having a hard time... but I feel a lot better when it's mild.

- I've been working more than the previously decided on 1-day per week - but by God's grace it hasn't been too bad. I have willing babysitters, and I work super-close to home so I've been able to go home and nurse Peyton at lunch a lot of days. And my manager and coworkers have been really great about letting me do some half-days... so I can still go in and help with the heavy hours and have either the morning or afternoon off. And Kurt is happy because there is a little bit more money coming in.

- Speaking of money: Does anyone watch "Til Debt Do Us Part"? Well, watching it with Kurt dramatically changed my life. This is typed tongue-in-cheek and kinda whiny.
We are now on a cash-only budget. To say I was reluctant would be an understatement. I love Visa. Don't get me wrong - I'm careful with it and we always pay it off... but what are a few more dollars at WalMart on a Visa, right? Right. And besides - we get points!
But NOW I look at my dwindling cash-stash and think: "Hmmm... maybe I don't need that recipe book today." or "Maybe I should wait until next month to buy some more flower pots." or "I guess I could live without Party Lite for a few months." *Sigh* (the last one is a kicker...)
We haven't cut up our credit or debit cards - it's an honor system and I'm glad Kurt trusts me to not be sneaky. Besides - he gave me the bulk of our 'disposable' cash and only kept a fraction for himself... so that makes up for the crazy idea, I guess. ;)

- I should go walk now - Peyton is sleeping and I've got to redeem the time. The best thing I've done in a long time was start to listen to the bible on CD while exercising. Treadmill time isn't exactly heavy-duty mental work... so I'm get about a half-hour of uninterupted time in the bible - it's just that instead of me reading it it's being read to me. I've noticed a huge change in my prayer life and my appreciation of Jesus grows daily - and as a side-effect my butt is getting smaller! Sweet, right? I know. :-D

Thanks for reading!

What was that?

My darling hubby - making me laugh as usual. :)

*pause the music and turn it up so you can hear what I'm talking about when I say, "What was that?" :)*

Some Women Meet Their Husbands At the Door With Candles and Romantic Music

My husband appreciates a ready-to-play game of Monopoly on the table.

He was pretty exited (considering I bought it for him for Christmas with the statement - as he opened it, "I hope you can find someone who will actually play this with you." chuckle...)Really, I dislike Monopoly a lot (Balderdash is more my style). It's ruthless - and Kurt is kinda a slum-lord. This game ended with he threw a couple of hotels on Baltic and Mediterranean and I was losing upwards of $400 bucks each time I passed "go".
Since I know God controls the throw of dice, I guess He's trying to teach me something sanctifying by letting Kurt whip my behind... So what can I say? God is growing me. ;)But boy, I love this man's smile. :) Worth the humiliation, right?
At least that's what I say a few days after the sting of defeat has worn off....

Be Mine, Valentine

Kurt, my love: on the 19th of January I had such plans to write a big, mushy romantic post listing all the 29 reasons I love you on your 29th birthday - or something.
But our child had different plans - so obviously it never got written.
In this particular case, I think that the day before Valentines I'm going to try to attempt to list as many things as I can before Peyton decides it's time I love her.
Or at least 29 things. :)
--
1) You're sexy and I'm mightily attracted to you. Should I just stop now? ;)
2) You have such a great smile: it reaches all the way to your eyes.
3) The tiny wrinkles that those smiles have created. It shows your character.
4) The way you help out as much as you can with Peyton: diaper changes, feeding, walking with her - there really hasn't been a task you've refused.
5) The way you listen to me when I need to vent: even if it's venting about you. :)
6) The way you love my family: treating my brothers, parents, grandparents and everyone else with respect.
7) You're always happy to see me at the end of the day. Although sometimes Peyton gets kisses before I do, now - I'm never forgotten.
8) You're my handyman.You've fixed furnaces, floors, hung pictures, changed lights, tuned up a treadmill and change the oil in the vehicles on time. I have actually forgotten how to pump my own gas thanks to you. Wait - that isn't exactly true: it just took me a really long time to figure out the sequence last time I drove alone. :)
9) The way you seem to hate wearing socks, unless - of course - it's with a pair of flip-flops. In public. I think you just like to see my horrified reaction...
10) You handle nagging really well. Some men would flip-out... you just ignore me with a smile. (lol)

10) You've learned to trust my sense of style: it only took a few cans of paint - but you think I can decorate now - and you like it. :)
11) The way you'll pause in the middle of a task and tell me that you love me.
12) You aren't put off when I'm grumpy. And when I get grumpier because you're laughing at me, you manage to tease me out of it. Good job, Superman.
13) You vacuum.
14) You squeegee the shower after you use it.
15) You encourage me to get my hair done every month... and just kinda plug your ears when I tell you how much it cost after I get home.
16) You see the value of the time I spend with my mom and gramma when I get my hair done every month. :)
17) You not only love the Lord - but you encourage me to do so - you are a true leader.
18) You love our church family.
19) You handle it well when I say, "I told you so." about the Economist magazine. :-D
20) The way you'll still cry for Autumn - even holding Peyton in your arms. You've never pressured me to move on faster than I was able, or responded negatively when I've needed to remember or reminisce.
21) You're really smart politically. We did meet in Political Studies, after all... it's like our heritage. (lol)
22) You're not afraid to admit you've been wrong, or changed your mind about things: whether the aforementioned wall color, furniture arrangements or Obama... I like that you think about stuff enough to reevaluate opinions.
23) Your laugh: it's so hearty and genuine... and the way your face scrunches up is adorable. I love being the one to make you do that. :)
24) The fact that you wish you remembered our wedding day better. (S'okay, you look happy in the pictures... and only mildly dazed.)
25) The way it was important to you to come to all of my prenatal appointments last year.
26) That you strive to not fear the future: you attempt to be eager to see what else the Lord will bring across our paths.
27) The way you always threaten that I'll have to work full-time if you think I spend too much money. I'm sure that my laughter isn't the desired effect of that threat - but I love how you're consistent. ;)
28) The way you just shake your head and look at me with despair when Peyton starts to cry about 5 minutes into Lost each week. (big grin)
29) The way you're genuinely happy for other people when they receive wonderful gifts from the Lord - you're not an envious person.

I did it!
Of course Peyton is squirming on my lap now - so not a minute too soon! :)
I do love you, honey. I'm so proud to be your Mrs Manz. It wouldn't be hard to list 75 things I love about you - so I pray the Lord gives us at least that long together. :)
Come home safe - we can't wait to see you. :)
yours,
kendall

January 21st

Hello - it's spring! (or it feels like it, anyway) I love that the days are getting longer again. You know you live in the north when you say to your husband, "Hey - it's quarter to 5 and it's still light out!" :-D

Monday was my husband's 29th birthday.
I can't even begin to express how much I love and admire this wonderful man that God has given me. I was going to try and blog about that adoration creatively on the 19th - but that liberty seems to be part of a former life which I can only vaguely recall... :)
But that night (thanks to my parents who babysat) we went on a real "date" and just enjoyed being "Kurt and Kendall" (vs "mom and dad") for an evening. We laughed and talked and flirted with each other. It felt like the burden of a year of hopes and fears kinda slid off being around him and just him for a few hours.
I'm so thankful for you, Kurt. I love you so, so much: happy birthday via the blog. :)

Anyway - because it was so nice today, Peyton went with me to the office this morning. (I had to do some paperwork that I only had access to there.) We (Homecare) share a fax machine with the nursing home, so when I brought her into the common area to use it, there was a flood of praise for how cute she is. :) Of course, she didn't smile once because it was too close to nap-time... but she was a hit as she stared at everyone. And that was just with the staff. ;)

The activities coordinator asked if I'd be willing to take Peyton into where the residents were sitting so they could see a real-live baby. She was the center of attention for the second time in 15 minutes. And one lady did get a smile... so she must have twigged something with my tired girl. It was really sweet to see these ladies (one who was actually cradling a baby doll) just light up around Peyton. I think she and I will do that again one of these days.

Kurt was able to come home for lunch today - that usually works out on Tuesdays and Wednesdays because he works here in town. It was the perfect opportunity to get a few pictures of the two of them. As you can see. :) Doesn't the light make her look bald-ish? Funny, huh?
Other than that, Kurt and I are having our own little Lost party tonight. The same Kurt who says on occasion, "I think television is going to ruin our marriage." (chuckle) When I suggested he pick up some snacky foods for our "event" he didn't bat an eye. :) I'm excited. Hopefully Peyton enjoys it, too. :)
Anyway, I just spent most of the afternoon feeding Peyton, putting pictures on Facebook and chatting with Ruthie (:)) so now that Kurt is home I should go get ready for the party.
That and Blogger is scheduled for an outage pretty quick. :)

You mean Daddy has to go back to work already??

Is it An Addiction?

... when the first thing I say to my husband in the morning is, "Did you make coffee yet?"

:)

We're back from Melfort, surviving (barely!) the cold and counting down the days to Peyton's first Christmas and our 5th since we became the first set of Manz juniors back in 2003. So hard to believe... but I'm so very thankful.

The fellow Kurt worked with at harvest just stopped by to give us chocolate (darn!) and told me that it is supposed to be horridly cold for the rest of the week. Perspective: it's -33 C. That is -27 F before windchill (which I choose to not think about...)

But on a bright note we discovered that our car does have a block heater after all - so it's chances of surviving the winter are much better now. :) We didn't really have to deal with it in Saskatoon last year because of the garage and it so happened that we never traveled anywhere when it was really cold. This year our garage is actually heated so we really hadn't thought about it... and then we had to start our car after it had sat in the driveway in Melfort for 2 days of the above-mentioned weather. I'd try to describe the sound it made, but it's really too pathetic. I'll say this for our refurbished 2005 Mazda 3: it's got a great battery.

I forgot to take pictures this weekend - but as soon as my mom-in-law sends me some I'll put a couple of them up.

And congratulations to Jessica and Jen - who both delivered healthy boys within the past week. I'm praising God for the blessings you've both received - Merry Christmas, you guys. :)

Blessings!
kendall

Guess Who Is Taking A Bottle?

And guess who that means more sleep for?
That's right - me! :)
Although the flip side is less for Kurt, I suppose. I'm more than thankful for a husband who is not only willing to assist this way - but who is eager to. (I love you, honey!)
I still have to pump - but since supply isn't much of an issue (Mooo-ooo!) there are 3 full bottles at all times in the fridge. Have I mentioned that my Modella electric pump was the SINGLE best purchase I've made in the last month-and-a-half? :)

Just so you know I am really, really trying hard to not make this blog about breastfeeding, peeing, pooping, and gassy nights. However, my life is really revolving around that right now.

Humor me: Saturday night was about as bad as it has gotten. Even the gripe water didn't work until the 3rd try. She exhausted herself crying, nursed, and then fell into a deep sleep around 2:30. So, between that and "the person who sleeps on the alarm clock side of the bed"(hint: not me!) forgetting to set that aforementioned clock, we missed church Sunday morning. At 8:15 (we're supposed to leave by 8:30), Kurt got up, fed her (yay!) and I was able to sleep until I woke up.

At 11:30!

Hokey-Dina... I must have been exhausted. But the upside of sitting up with a fussy baby until late at night was that if you crossed my mind, I prayed for you. :) I was also able to truly thank the Lord for her without resentment or frustration - I just felt bad that she felt so bad. That, more than anything, is a true indication of how God has changed me over this last year. The old Kendall would have been crying, too, I'm sure. :)

Sunday night - by comparison -was heavenly. She was content, alert, and even cheerful. I changed her at 10, nursed her a little and then she (brace yourself) slept like a log until after 2:30. Yeah, I know. I've got the Hallelujah chorus running around my head.

She's done 3-5 hour stretches since we brought her home, but I was starting to wonder what had happened to my content "If you lay me down Mommy, I promise I'll go right to sleep!" baby.

As a result of this unexpected occurrence, I had all this energy (plus a cup of strong coffee) running through my veins. So I had a perfect opportunity to clean under my bathroom sink. Yes, at 10:30 at night. (shrugging shoulders)

It's been bothering me. I think I have post-natal nesting. Whatever.

Which brings me to another point which I will start with an ardent disclaimer: I am not a pack-rat. It's actually gotten me in trouble before - throwing out things that in the heat of the cleaning moment I think, "I'll never use this!" and then later I think, "Dangit! I needed that!"

Anyway, when I was cleaning under the sink last night, I found the pregnancy test I took on March 4th (in a ziplock bag, relax). It made the move from Saskatoon and everything. And there was a moment when I was like, "Ewww... I peed on this stick and I'm keeping it?" and I was half-way (literally - my arm was extended) to throwing it out, then froze with rare indecision.

I never kept the one for Autumn. Why would I keep this one? And really - what am I going to do with it? Horrify people by placing it in a scrapbook? Ick. But as I held it, I walked over to the bassinet to look at my sleeping daughter and I just couldn't make myself pitch it in the garbage can.

There was something just so momentous about it. That pregnancy test was the start of a journey of faith that I'm realizing will probably never be over. When I look at it I'm reminded that God has taken care of me - He has never stopped. The tears that came when I saw that positive sign over 9 months ago were the second deepest I've ever cried and I was floored at His mercy and compassion.

The tiny, faint little "plus" reminded me of the day hope was conceieved after so much heartbreak, and how that hope was fully realized October 19th in the form of a tiny little girl we named Peyton Grace Elaine. Just like He had done on March 4th, 2008, God used that test at 10:30 last night to reassert His sovereigty and love for me. Looking at her chest rise and fall in peaceful sleep while holding the sign that told me God had begun to knit her inside me was enough to - once again - bring tears of thankfulness to my eyes. I remembered I can trust Him with her - after all, she was His before I even knew her.

Sigh. A lot of emotion from something that should probably just be thrown away, huh? :) Hormones...

So for now, anyway, it's sitting on my bathroom counter - still safely in a ziplock bag (because although I am sentimental, I am not unhygienic). I suppose it doesn't hurt to keep it for a little longer...

... I'll just put it away when company comes over. (lol!)