I'm realizing how much fun an almost 4-month old baby girl is.
And that's a double-edged sword.
This time last year we were in Phoenix. My "." had started and I realized that I was not pregnant after a month of (ahem) all the human effort possible. I was full of grief, fighting despair, and so very sad to come home to an empty home with an unused nursery and an unknown future.
Boy. A year can sure change things!
I need to remember - when tempted for feel far from God in the midst of this mind-numbingly busy and yet wonderful season - how closely He held me through what was without doubt the darkest valley I've ever walked though.
He is so good - and I love Him so much. By His grace I've been able to say that in the worst parts of my life and now - one year later - in the best.
Thanks to all of you who continue to honor me by sharing in my delights even as you did my heartache. I feel kinda boring now - but what a blessing that is! :)
7 comments:
Oh, my dear, you're not boring! Your joy is a blessing for all of us who "walked" beside you and felt your pain a year ago. And again, I'll say that your loss and then your gain was used by God to draw me (and I'm sure many others) to know and love the God who sustaines you. Can't wait for your next Arizona visit - with Peyton!!!! I've got chills! :)
Seriously, reading your blog and seeing the pictures posted by a very proud wife and mother brings a great deal of peace and contentment for me. Praise God!
Boring! Never!!! Your blog is one of the first ones I read every morning and one of the last ones I check each night. There are so many great moments in Peyton's life that you are in store for. And although I just started reading your blog a few months ago, your story has changed my outlook on life drastically. I'm actually considering converting over to Christianity. I lost a lot of faith through the years but your strong belief inspires me. Keep the posts coming, you're story is one that I share with fellow bloggers.
You could neer be boring dear friend! It's amazing to share in your joy and to see Peyton's progress!
We can't wait for you to come visit us again here in Phoenix! It's really sunny and warm :)
Thanks for sharing, praise the Lord for his faithfulness.
Thank you all for your encouragement. But mostly thank you, Analiza, for your honesty. You made my day and God reminded me of what I've been hoping since the day Autumn left: that people would think about Him and how real Jesus is when life is real and painful - as well as joyful and perfect. :)
It is so true what a difference a year makes. I am so thankful that time heals and gives opportunity for new life and new joy. I can't help to think about how my life would be different right now if Lily was here, but then I would not have Drew either. Such a wierd thing to think about, I am sure you have felt the same way. I have been really missing Lily lately. My sister-in-law is here visiting with her little girl that was born just 3 months after Lily. And as I see this little blonde haired blue eyed girl run around and watch Luke play with her, I really got a glimps of the "could have been" But then I look down at this little baby boy smiling up at me and my heart is filled with joy. I know she will always hold a special place in my heart, and I will never stop missing her. And I am thankful for the opportunity to hold another little baby in my arms and feel full of life.
What a testimony you have been! You have honoured God in the worst and best times of your life.
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