Saturday, January 31, 2009

Cutie Pie

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Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Proof That Peyton is MY Daughter...

Mmmmm.... coffee!
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Wednesday, January 21, 2009

January 21st

Hello - it's spring! (or it feels like it, anyway) I love that the days are getting longer again. You know you live in the north when you say to your husband, "Hey - it's quarter to 5 and it's still light out!" :-D

Monday was my husband's 29th birthday.
I can't even begin to express how much I love and admire this wonderful man that God has given me. I was going to try and blog about that adoration creatively on the 19th - but that liberty seems to be part of a former life which I can only vaguely recall... :)
But that night (thanks to my parents who babysat) we went on a real "date" and just enjoyed being "Kurt and Kendall" (vs "mom and dad") for an evening. We laughed and talked and flirted with each other. It felt like the burden of a year of hopes and fears kinda slid off being around him and just him for a few hours.
I'm so thankful for you, Kurt. I love you so, so much: happy birthday via the blog. :)

Anyway - because it was so nice today, Peyton went with me to the office this morning. (I had to do some paperwork that I only had access to there.) We (Homecare) share a fax machine with the nursing home, so when I brought her into the common area to use it, there was a flood of praise for how cute she is. :) Of course, she didn't smile once because it was too close to nap-time... but she was a hit as she stared at everyone. And that was just with the staff. ;)

The activities coordinator asked if I'd be willing to take Peyton into where the residents were sitting so they could see a real-live baby. She was the center of attention for the second time in 15 minutes. And one lady did get a smile... so she must have twigged something with my tired girl. It was really sweet to see these ladies (one who was actually cradling a baby doll) just light up around Peyton. I think she and I will do that again one of these days.

Kurt was able to come home for lunch today - that usually works out on Tuesdays and Wednesdays because he works here in town. It was the perfect opportunity to get a few pictures of the two of them. As you can see. :) Doesn't the light make her look bald-ish? Funny, huh?
Other than that, Kurt and I are having our own little Lost party tonight. The same Kurt who says on occasion, "I think television is going to ruin our marriage." (chuckle) When I suggested he pick up some snacky foods for our "event" he didn't bat an eye. :) I'm excited. Hopefully Peyton enjoys it, too. :)
Anyway, I just spent most of the afternoon feeding Peyton, putting pictures on Facebook and chatting with Ruthie (:)) so now that Kurt is home I should go get ready for the party.
That and Blogger is scheduled for an outage pretty quick. :)

You mean Daddy has to go back to work already??

Monday, January 19, 2009

I'm 3 Months Old!

I've changed my outfit no less than 3 times today - and it's not even noon yet! How appropriate...
(Mommy says she hopes I don't make this a pattern for the next 9 months of birthday pictures...)
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Kendall says: Thanks for the outfits Wollman family (green), Larry and Janelle and Janice and Brent (the fuzzy overalls). Also, thanks to Julie for the idea (I snagged it off of facebook - sigh) of taking the picture with the blanket. Too fun! :)

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

For Mary

She does smile more than my pictures imply - but I'll put up a few shots with "non-serious" expressions just for you. :)
Thanks for all your support, everyone. It means more than I can "write"...
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Tuesday, January 13, 2009

5 Minutes

I have only a few minutes to spare so I thought I'd do a stream-of-consciousness post. Brace yourselves:

- I let Peyton cry herself to sleep for the first time today. She was happy for the first 4 minutes, cranky for the next 5, and enraged for the next 6. Then she was silent. I peeked on her and she was sleeping peacefully in her crib. Score! (I should note that I tried it yesterday and stood - like a total dork - by the baby monitor on the counter for 15 minutes as she screamed. I couldn't take it - I went and picked her up as her sobs got more heartbroken.) This time, I plunged my hands into dishwater and literally couldn't go to her. I'm glad for the distraction of housework (tongue in cheek). Plus, today I was sure she was really and truly just tired: not hungry, wet or gassy. I feel like I've passed yet another mommy rite-of-passage.

- Have I mentioned the snow and the cold? Sheesh. They both just keep coming - minus 30 Celsius (-22 F) with windchill today. At least Peyton is dressed for it. :) Yes, red pants with a pink vest and pink baby Ugs. I love it. Clearly she does, too. (chuckle)

- I need to get a Bumbo.

- We're going back to Arizona in March! We need to get Peyton's passport. I hope she flies well... (this thought will have to be truncated for time's sake)

- Whoever invented the diaper genie deserves every cent their patent earned them.

- (Almost) 3-month old girl spit-up is one of my least favorite smells. And I think my shoulder is giving off a suspicious odor right now...

- I like margarine better than butter.

- Facebook - while enjoyable - was a little more overwhelming than I thought it would be. But thanks to everyone who has accepted or sought my friendship. :)

- Today, while nursing Peyton, the song I had used for Autumn's slide show came on the radio station I had playing. I cried and thanked the Lord for both girls: but the pain was fierce for a few minutes. That song expressed the depths of my heart during that time. The cry for faith: the trust that the Lord would take care of me because He is there always. My favorite line? "You were there in the midst of the unclear." Amen. I've only just mustered up the courage to put it on my player on the side - it really evokes a lot for me.

- I had the most tender moment yet with Peyton. While nursing her the other night I had my eyes closed and my head leaning back on the rocking chair. She paused (as she often does) so I didn't think much of it. I heard a soft coo, and looked down to find my baby girl looking up with a big smile on her face. She then proceeded to "talk" to me with big smiles and happy eyes. I couldn't help it - I laughed with tears. It felt like it came from my soul. Praise God.

- There is some sadness in setting aside outfits that are now too small for Peyton. But mostly thankfulness (and the knowledge that if I have another girl someday she'll be just as well-dressed as her sister).

- The lactation consultants (and me when I told ladies this in the hospital) are correct: although it seems as though your baby isn't getting enough milk when breastfeeding, if you keep at it (even if she has to eat every hour for a day-and-a-half... sigh) your supply will increase. We had a couple of trying days, where she needed to eat a lot more often, but she's evened out, and my supply is rocking. Truly. I'm actually gonna have to start freezing some of this stuff. :) It's so neat how God created women to meet that need... I'm amazed at my body's capability to produce.

- I'm gonna go fold the first of my 4 loads of laundry now.

- Later gators!

Watching the Rose Bowl with daddy... whom she loves in case that isn't clear. (chuckle)

Monday, January 12, 2009

I Can't Belive It

After 2 years of holding out I joined facebook today.
If I have inadvertently sent you some kind of information and you don't know me at all - I apologize.
That said: if you want to be my friend come find me! :)

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

My Burden

Why is it that every shirt I own suddenly has a tag that is itching me? Did my neck suddenly change shape? Due to... oh - I don't know - a tremendous amount of weight loss? (heh-heh... sigh)
I'm not joking, though. The last 4 days I've had to cut (or rip - depending on the level of frustration and the value of the shirt) the tags out of at least 4 tops - all of which I've owned for at least one year.
Go figure...
And a picture for today!
Hmmm.... okay.
Well, Kurt is kinda squinty, so I'll add another of them because I know Kurt is gonna laugh/groan and say, "Kendall, I look terrible in that picture." :)
I've really been missing blogging. Hopefully I'll remedy that in this new year - I've thought of numerous posts that I just - simply enough - haven't had the time or ability to sit down and type. And I'm a pretty quick typist. :) But - like I said - I'll try to make some time... and thus the super-short post. I figure better something small than nothing at all. (That rhymes, fyi... chuckle)
On another note, I've been thinking about Autumn a lot lately. I even shed some tears last night. Seeing Peyton grow and develop, taking pictures and passing milestones... sometimes it's a painful reminder of how abbreviated Autumn's life really was. My picture box for Autumn never changes - the number is set. Peyton's keeps growing and so does she. The contrast is just hard to miss at times. The strange part is that the grief is ringed by happiness. In our living room we have two pictures in matching frames: our girls. Girls. Plural. I love Peyton so much... and I remember the excitement and anticipation we had for Autumn. I'm so proud of both of them. But I do wish - with tears - that I had both here to love, cuddle and enjoy.
More to give to the Lord, today. (small smile)
Big sigh.
To end this post on lighter note: Peyton got her first shots yesterday (yes, I believe - quite strongly, actually - in immunization) and we found out she is hitting pretty much every developmental change she should. Not that I was worried but it's just nice to have someone else point it out. (grin) But she took the needles like a trooper - and it was nothing a quick little feed in the nurse's office couldn't make better. :)
Oops - so she's crying now in the other room and it's been 4 plus hours since her first breakfast... so I should jet. Thanks for keeping up despite my inconsistencies, everyone.

Friday, January 2, 2009

At Least I'm Consistent...

Today - when filling out the request form for Peyton's birth certificate - I made the mistake I make every new year and usually continue to make until March:

January 2, 2008 (dangit!)

How long does it take you to get your year straight?