I said it:
"So - as we were there, looking at our baby on the screen - we were amazed that God - who put her/him there in the first place - is building and maintaining "little Manz". Since worrying didn't put her/him there in the first place, we can rest and trust that worry won't keep the baby safe. But our God can! John Piper's love of "The God of molecules" rings a strong chord with me as I see our baby - who started as mere cells - growing and moving. There is a strange calm in knowing that this is one area we have absolutely no control of. God calls us to maintain that joy in Him, to know - again - that His timing and methods are best. I'm sure that I'll struggle with worry, or anxiety at some point (I am a hormonal woman working at a hospital!) - but I know - by God's grace - the joy of relaxing in the ONLY one who can control this issue."
How could we have known where we could end up from that point?
And how could I have known that my own words would still ring true in a very different pregnancy one year later?
Resting in a lack of control? What a paradox.
From childhood we are cautioned against "blind faith". And from a worldly perspective that is really good advice! But a person's reliability is established by their character. There is no character as proven as Jesus Christ's. If He says He will hold me - I'm held.
Like a little kid jumping into her daddy's arms in the pool. There is absolutely no doubt that her father is not only capable - but couldn't possibly fail. We don't consider all the risks when we're little because we've never been let down. And God is even bigger than my dad. :)
He always does what He says He will do. He will not fail. He still controls molecules. I know it.
"So - as we were there, looking at our baby on the screen - we were amazed that God - who put her/him there in the first place - is building and maintaining "little Manz". Since worrying didn't put her/him there in the first place, we can rest and trust that worry won't keep the baby safe. But our God can! John Piper's love of "The God of molecules" rings a strong chord with me as I see our baby - who started as mere cells - growing and moving. There is a strange calm in knowing that this is one area we have absolutely no control of. God calls us to maintain that joy in Him, to know - again - that His timing and methods are best. I'm sure that I'll struggle with worry, or anxiety at some point (I am a hormonal woman working at a hospital!) - but I know - by God's grace - the joy of relaxing in the ONLY one who can control this issue."
After our 18-week ultrasound, May 16th, 2007
How could we have known where we could end up from that point?
And how could I have known that my own words would still ring true in a very different pregnancy one year later?
Resting in a lack of control? What a paradox.
From childhood we are cautioned against "blind faith". And from a worldly perspective that is really good advice! But a person's reliability is established by their character. There is no character as proven as Jesus Christ's. If He says He will hold me - I'm held.
Like a little kid jumping into her daddy's arms in the pool. There is absolutely no doubt that her father is not only capable - but couldn't possibly fail. We don't consider all the risks when we're little because we've never been let down. And God is even bigger than my dad. :)
He always does what He says He will do. He will not fail. He still controls molecules. I know it.
7 comments:
Wow - how true. Just wanted to let you know that you too were in my thoughts and prayers yesterday.
Yes! He's the God of the molecules and the God of the expanses! I'm praising Him today!!
Thank you dear Daddy for keeping Kendall in your hands and for giving her another pregnancy and soon a healthy child to hold in her arms. I'm trusting in your goodness.
I want to know that God does what He says He will do, despite feeling as though He has failed, BIG TIME. The lack of control has brought/brings such chaos to my whole being. Doubt, fear, hurt... Claiming truth today, His truth - that our souls would rest in His control, because I am so desperate, for Him, and because He promises.
Thank you for having a blog Kendall and for choosing to trust. I think of you often. To Him who is able and worthy of our trust.
So true...and yet it is such a human struggle to relinquish the control that we never really have in the first place.
Thanks for the thoughts and prayers--you are constantly in mine too...
Hannah
Wow!! I echo Hannah's thoughts, though I had never really thought of it that way before. We all think we have control and don't want to give it up and really we never had it. That hit me this morning.
I think of you so often Kendall and am so happy when you update. You three are in our prayers every day. And through such purity - my daughter doesn't know you - she never forgets you and the baby!! :)
And you're right - you couldn't have known, but He did and He has put you right where you are on purpose. It's so hard to remember that sometimes, but it's true.
Thank you again for sharing your thoughts and your faith. They have strengthened mine and for that, I'm so grateful!!!
{{{HUGS}}}
What you write feels sooo much form the heart. I echo Roseanna when I say Thank you for having a blog and for updating it. You are a blessing!
missing you. is everything ok?
Post a Comment