My Birthday in Pictures

Hung out with the farmers...

Especially this cute one... my personal favorite of the bunch.

Ate birthday cupcakes made by Gramma Lori while waiting in the truck.
Peyton was the messiest by far - but a fairly easy cleanup thanks to being in the field. ;)

Despite the colds, it was a gorgeous day and a great snippet of family time. Hard to believe it was 3 days ago already... a foreshadow of the weeks to come? Sheesh...

Babysitting

Today I am so, so, soooo thankful for a job that is flexible enough to let me come home for a few hours due to a lack of babysitters. Kurt and I kinda got our wires crossed today and there ended up being 2 hours where Peyton would have had to be left at home alone. Since that wasn't really an option, we've juggled our schedules to cover the whole day. Not too stressful - I'm just amazed how easy it was to come up with a solution.

I have to say that if I'm here feeling like I'm "babysitting" Peyton we have a blast. I know I have to go back to work at 11, so I'm not thinking about the laundry that is piling up, or the dirty bathroom(s) that needs to be cleaned, or dusting my living room. I'm just enjoying the morning with my daughter. :)

And I think she enjoyed it too: we read books, played with her dolls, gave everyone needles (she was obviously impacted by her Public Health visit a couple of weeks ago - chuckle), and eventually, we went to her room and rocked while singing lullabies. The lullaby thing is relatively new for her: her favorites are "Rock-a-be-be" (Rock-a-bye Baby) and "Papa" (Hush-little-Baby). :) She calms right down and snuggles her blanket until it gets too cramped for her and she tells me, "kib" (crib). I settled her in, kissed her forehead and then had a few minutes to blog besides! :)

So to all you busy mommies out there, if you can take a break from being a mom for even a little while and pretend you're a babysitter... it's a nice change of pace. :) I sure enjoyed it this morning!

My Arm Hurts

Thank you H1N1 immunization!

I am gonna feel really bad for my little girlie when she gets it because I (as not only an "adult", but a "health-care provider") understand why I'm waking up when I roll over onto my left arm. I simply hiss, "Ouucchhhh!", readjust my position, and go back to sleep.

It's gonna be a long couple of days if my daughter has the same level of discomfort. Hello baby tylenol!

Speaking of the virus I cannot make myself call "Swine Flu" (p-touie!):
Need some accurate, credible, and non-media biased info on the virus?
Check out this link (even you, my American friends, 'cause I watch your media too and it's awful about this!):

www.fightflu.ca

Lots of good info: including the truth about the vaccine and the so-called "new" way of preparing it (which I recently learned has been used with success in Europe's regular flu-vaccine since 1997) and who it is and is not safe for. The Public Health Agency of Canada is about as unbiased as you can get... so I trust this info. It isn't the prettiest website (government), but you should be able to find the answers to your questions. Hope it helps!

Speaking of the dread virus: I've been "trained" to assist with the mass public immunizations starting the week of November 16th. They know there aren't enough Public Health Nurses - so they've recruited more of us to work with them. Good times! (tongue in cheek)

All joking aside - I really am admiring my health regions proactive approach to this pandemic. And they should be prepared, you know. We've been expecting one of these for over 10 years... it's nice to see it pay-off in an organized and methodical fashion. Well done, PAPHR! :)

Alrighty then: thanks for bringing the counter over 80,000. Amazing! :)

It's Harvest! (Expect pictures...)

Family photo - September 2009
(We should have had glasses for miss-squints, I think...)

Visiting Kurt at work.
(Peyton keeping an eye on the dog...)

The truck Kurt was driving that day.

And a glamor shot for all my fans... ;-D
Peyton looks like she's cut in stone, though... chuckle!

With the puppy belonging to the farm we were beside that day.
A perfect fall day... praise God!

Driving with Daddy (not really... just waiting for the combine.)
Don't you just love the sippy-cup dashboard accessory? :)

Waving to Daddy while he was unloading the wheat into the bin.
(And yet he still managed to take a picture for me... what a sweetie!)

Such a happy girl with her Daddy!

My favorite farmer... and Kurt. (lol!)

I must say it is a lot easier to get in and out of the truck this year. :)

Today I'm Thankful For...

Air conditioning. It's blasted hot. Some revel in it - I wilt.
--
My husband who loves me when I am most unloveable.
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A new neighbor across the street who also happens to be a good friend.
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Willing babysitters - you know who you are!
--
Great coworkers. No other people I'd rather spend a whole day doing IVs with... chuckle...
--
A pregnancy announcement - and never-ending amazement with the God who can create human life!
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My daughter being so close to crawling. It's so much fun to watch her try! :)
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A coffee pot that turns itself off after 2-hours.
This is especially comforting when I'm at a meeting in a town 40 minutes away and realize I forgot to shut it off when I left the house. :-P

A few more pictures! :)

Her onsie actually says, "Daddy's little Sweetheart." :)

Eyes for her daddy!

My two favorite people in the whole world!

Quickly Typed...

Just a few quick thoughts:

- One year ago today we took possession of this house. I was very nauseous as we began the process of renovation. Glad that's over...

- Peyton started sleeping in her own room last Monday. It was both less challenging and less traumatic than I thought. I didn't wake up until she cried at 4:30. Kurt said that he got up and checked her at 3:30... but the rest of the week has been incedentless. (is that a word? Whatever.)

- Now that she's in there - she makes little squawks until I come in. She has figured out to watch the door while she squawks. It's pretty cute to see her face light up as if to say, "I knew it would work!"

- She's in 9-12 month sleepers. Oy!

- The whole "working one day a week" thing is going pretty well. It's great to have my mom and grandma so close by for short shifts. I actually have come home at noon on a couple of days to nurse Peyton.

- My treadmill broke. :( (And no, it wasn't me arranging a convenient accident like some mafia boss...)

- Our taxes are done (right under the wire)! And we actually get something back this year. Something to the tune of "I just might get my new fridge and freezer sooner than I had hoped".

- The lawn is starting to turn green! :-D

- Every once in a while, Peyton will be playing and then all of a sudden she'll burst into tears. I think she bites her own hand with her new choppers. Those little suckers are sharp. Don't ask how I've found this out - but the original discovery involved me yelling, "Oooowww-chhhhhhhh!"

- Kurt has started getting ready to start with seeding again: so between the two of us we're holding down 4 jobs - and only one is mine. We're having a little bit of trouble getting quality time together that doesn't involve Kurt falling asleep during the last 10 minutes of Lost. (Seriously. I don't know how he does it.) Anyway, I'm hoping this season of busyness is short. :)

- Okay - high-pitched yells coming from the other room - must run! :)

January 21st

Hello - it's spring! (or it feels like it, anyway) I love that the days are getting longer again. You know you live in the north when you say to your husband, "Hey - it's quarter to 5 and it's still light out!" :-D

Monday was my husband's 29th birthday.
I can't even begin to express how much I love and admire this wonderful man that God has given me. I was going to try and blog about that adoration creatively on the 19th - but that liberty seems to be part of a former life which I can only vaguely recall... :)
But that night (thanks to my parents who babysat) we went on a real "date" and just enjoyed being "Kurt and Kendall" (vs "mom and dad") for an evening. We laughed and talked and flirted with each other. It felt like the burden of a year of hopes and fears kinda slid off being around him and just him for a few hours.
I'm so thankful for you, Kurt. I love you so, so much: happy birthday via the blog. :)

Anyway - because it was so nice today, Peyton went with me to the office this morning. (I had to do some paperwork that I only had access to there.) We (Homecare) share a fax machine with the nursing home, so when I brought her into the common area to use it, there was a flood of praise for how cute she is. :) Of course, she didn't smile once because it was too close to nap-time... but she was a hit as she stared at everyone. And that was just with the staff. ;)

The activities coordinator asked if I'd be willing to take Peyton into where the residents were sitting so they could see a real-live baby. She was the center of attention for the second time in 15 minutes. And one lady did get a smile... so she must have twigged something with my tired girl. It was really sweet to see these ladies (one who was actually cradling a baby doll) just light up around Peyton. I think she and I will do that again one of these days.

Kurt was able to come home for lunch today - that usually works out on Tuesdays and Wednesdays because he works here in town. It was the perfect opportunity to get a few pictures of the two of them. As you can see. :) Doesn't the light make her look bald-ish? Funny, huh?
Other than that, Kurt and I are having our own little Lost party tonight. The same Kurt who says on occasion, "I think television is going to ruin our marriage." (chuckle) When I suggested he pick up some snacky foods for our "event" he didn't bat an eye. :) I'm excited. Hopefully Peyton enjoys it, too. :)
Anyway, I just spent most of the afternoon feeding Peyton, putting pictures on Facebook and chatting with Ruthie (:)) so now that Kurt is home I should go get ready for the party.
That and Blogger is scheduled for an outage pretty quick. :)

You mean Daddy has to go back to work already??

Happenings (not really)

So I've been meaning to post for several days - but Peyton has had other plans. I could list all the spit-up incidents... but I'm sure that would be unnecessary. She's kept me busy. 'Nuff said...

Time has moved so fast that I even got a notice in the mail the other day from the SRNA telling me that my registration was about to lapse (gulp!). So I've been frantically trying to get all those ducks in order so that I can still be a RN in good standing. (I worked out all those final details just before I started this post - sigh of relief!)

We're busy - Peyton is more gassy which makes for a fussier baby... but I'm going to try to eliminate dairy from my diet for a few days and see if it makes a difference. There is also the possibility (I suppose) that it could be some kind of reaction to coffee. But since I only drink one cup a day, and I need a cup of coffee in the morning, I'll see if the dairy experiment works first. :)See? Before coffee neither one of us function too well. ;)

Otherwise... I HOPE to post soon. HOPE.
Thanks for reading, everyone....

My Working Man

In the truck waiting to be filled by the combine.

Unloading the oats into the transfer auger.

Checking the pile depth (making sure it didn't go over the rings).

Scenes from my birthday evening. It was actually pretty cold and windy - and every bump brought on a Braxton Hicks contraction... but we did the whole "listen to the Rider game" thing, and just had a great 3-and-one-half-hour visit while admiring the beauty of the stars and the Northern Lights (stretching entirely from east to west last night!).
Oat dust is sure itchy, though. Not an area I need help with lately. :)

Post 7 of 9 (September 28th-October 4th)

So I made it back from Regina. (Yay!)

I'm a little sore (a little more sore) and stiff from all those hours in the car and sitting at the conference. That condition wasn't helped by going straight to the field to ride around with my hubby in the truck for a few hours - but the smile on his face when he saw me more than made up for the discomfort of bouncing around on a hard seat. :)

Tomorrow is my birthday - which will probably be just another harvest day (us lucky October birthdays...) but I think I'll go ride with Kurt for some of the day. He was really feeling badly about not being able to do something with me... but I told him I'd let him make it up to me later. (chuckle)

I've been working on my hospital list today - I'm kinda paranoid we'll forget something essential when we go. We used to live only 5 minutes from the hospital - so if we had forgotten something it would have been pretty easy for Kurt to go home, or for someone to pick it up for us... but I'd like to avoid that this time around and a full-hour out of the city. I listed off some of the items I have written to Kurt who phoned a few minutes ago, and after a pause he said, "So... are you thinking you'll have to go to the hospital soon?" :) (He may be thinking about all that bouncing around in the truck last night...) I don't think so - but I guess I couldn't really rule it out, could I?

Regardless - I cannot believe we'll be at 21 days until induction tomorrow. The memories of Autumn come so clear now: my 27th birthday and her being 38 weeks along. Part of the grief is remembering how "innocent" we were. There was no clue anything so horrible could possibly happen - and yet 2 weeks later our world changed forever. Instead of rejoicing and planning her first birthday party I'm happy that her headstone has been placed... I never, never could have pictured this.

But by God's grace, the sadness of those memories has me praying daily and hourly for this little one who continues to fidget and move around to my sheer delight. Thanks for your prayers, everyone. I'm trying to continue my quest to finish Autumn's album... I've hit a little roadblock where some pictures are concerned - but that probably isn't anything I couldn't overcome by just sitting down and studying them for a while. That said: my ankles didn't respond well to the hours in the car or the truck last night - and other than a quick blog post ("quick") and some laundry I should probably avoid the whole "sitting at a desk for hours/standing up and walking around" thing. :)

BTW: I've been "tagged" by two people now (Katrina and Rachel Ann) and they are both different "tags". I am planning on doing it - it just might not be right away. But just so you both know - I'm not ignoring you (thanks for thinking of me). :)

On Another Note...

I'm off to Regina for a few days for my last nursing related event before the baby comes. It's a 4-hour drive (or 4 and 3-quarter hour drive according to google maps)- so I'm hoping to get away by 3pm so I can get there by 6 - 6:30. Not to mention drive in daylight through whitetail deer country... You should be able to click all those links and find out some extra details I'm not willing to type out right now. :)

I'm not that eager to go by myself - but the guy Kurt is working for has just over a week left for harvest (Lord willing) so he's going to stay and make sure that gets done sooner rather than later. I think he has recurring nightmares about being in a truck somewhere when my water breaks....

Anyway, I'm staying with my wonderful brother and sister in law - and there will be at least one of my coworkers there so I won't be completely by myself at the conference which should be very interesting - really. My lack of enthusiasm has more to do with the lower body discomfort and size of my belly than the content as slated in the brochure... chuckle.

Ye-gads! 34 weeks and counting....

My brother-in-law informed me they're taking me to Tony Roma's for supper... so I'll be starving myself in anticipation today. (grin)
What? It isn't like people will wonder where my appetite comes from... (chuckle)

Anyway, I should go pick out the music I'm going to listen to on my many-houred (word?) trip. Blessings, everyone!

Post 5 of 9 (September 14-20)

The logic of the count is that I'll be posting the 9th the week we GO for induction. Like - this morning I'm 33 weeks - and that means I have five FULL weeks left to go. Just in case anyone was confused.

Kurt's been super-busy with harvest: he's been working consistent 12-15 hour days driving truck for the farmer he's working for. He's really enjoying it - even with the sleep deprivation. Last night when he got home (at 0030) I was actually still kinda awake so he showered in our bathroom (versus the one out by the kitchen) and then we half-consciously held hands until we fell asleep about 30 seconds later. Ahhh... the romance of harvest combined with the ardor of pregnancy... (lol!)

I hadn't mentioned it yet - but we get to have another ultrasound next week. I'm pretty excited - because normally we only get one at 18 weeks and if baby is fine then it is unnecessary to have others. But with our history the doctor thought it would be a good idea to check her out. The actual reason on the referral form? "Maternal reassurance". I'll take that. :) The smallest benefit of this would be making sure she really is a girl. :) The biggest delight is going to be seeing our baby at almost 34 weeks. I hope she's really active and I can figure out the parts that have been moving so much. I remember the huge difference it made with Autumn between the 18 week and 30 week ultrasound. Like: the difference between alien and human child (snicker). So that is exciting for both of us - pretty major understatement, that one. (grin)

I've also started begging off of shifts. (sigh) The waddle is getting more pronounced - as is the shortness of breath. That isn't anything I can't cope with at home - but getting in and out of the car and in and out of people's houses is acutely exhausting. Plus my pulse is still pretty volatile. Again - I can control it at home (when I feel it picking up I do the pregnancy equivalent of a full-stop: sit down, recline, feet up) but at work there isn't as much of an option for that. I would much rather control it with lifestyle than drugs... so fortunately I have a great group of coworkers who are really understanding.

Just so you can see how big I've gotten I'll post my 32 week picture (from last Friday). It's getting to the point where even I am wondering how big I'll be in another 5 weeks... zoiks. I've only gained 20 lbs - and have 5 weeks go... so that is actually really good (normal gain is 35-40 lbs) - but all I am is tummy and bum. Yes - I wrote bum on my blog. (grin) But I was definitely starting behind the 8-ball with this pregnancy because I hardly lost any weight from my pregnancy with Autumn. Lord willing, I'll have the time and energy and initiative to be healthy in the weight loss after this baby comes: not getting pregnant again 4 months after delivering this baby will probably help. (small smile)

To illustrate the delightful inconvenience of all this: Yesterday I had to take the truck for fuel and some groceries and my tummy touched the steering wheel - that doesn't happen in the car because of the telescopic steering column. Not a great thing when thinking about air bags... but for this, also, I trust God. :) But the point isn't so much that my tummy touched as that my feet almost didn't. (lol!) Hard to drive when you can't reach the pedals! Probably the last time I'll drive the truck until the baby is born...

32 weeks and counting...

Thanks for reading and praying, everyone...

Blood Pressure Etc.

Hi everyone!
I went to see my doctor yesterday (FYI 5100 gang: it's Friggstand) and the the results are in: my blood pressure is much more stable and I haven't gained more weight (I later lost the previously blogged about 2 pounds and then a few). On the other hand, my resting pulse is still consistently over 100. For example, I got to work today - sat for about 20 minutes to 1/2 hour and it was clocked at 134.
Nice.
So my doctor put me on labetalol. For anyone not working with the elderly, click the word to find out what it does. (I think it's a pretty simple explanation.) The upside of this should be two-fold. I can hope to see my pulse drop below 100 - and I can say to my clients, "Hey, I take this med, too!" I'm sure it will bond us. ;-D (lol!)
(And for those who choose to read the FULL medication write up you'll see that it "may be harmful for your unborn baby"... I'm on a pretty low dose and the basic gist of the harm is that if it slows me down too much it can slow baby down too much. Right now, that isn't likely to happen, plus I'm daily monitoring my pulse and BP... just so you know I know. :))
So I'm pretty happy that I don't have to go off work. I mean I am happy as long as I'm not exhausted like I was today. :) But I got through... and I am optimistic enough that today I talked to my manager and booked a shift for the 23rd of October. Yes. One day before my scheduled induction. :) She laughed - but I figure I'll only be 38 weeks and my job isn't actually physically too demanding. And - and this is the total truth - it would probably be a great way to get my mind off what is to come. And talk about a payoff! "After I am done this shift I get to go to the hospital and have a baby!" :) (I'm all about rewarding myself... chuckle)
Thanks so, SOOOO much to all of you who are praying and asking for updates. For now my condition is labeled stable and I've no doubt it is due to the massive amounts of prayer coverage. :)
And a special thanks to all my friends on 5100 - I hope you guys know how much I appreciate you all. :) Kurt and I checked on Roseanne yesterday (she even showed us her scar!) and she gave us the ornament and gift you guys got for us. To say we were overwhelmed is an understatement. :) Thank you doesn't feel like enough - but I hope you know I mean it from the bottom of my heart. Only 2 months (and a few days) until I come visit! (Save me the Vic Room, okay? LOL!)
Thanks for reading everyone!

About the Blood Pressure Issue

Today the doctor (not my regular doctor, but somebody in his practice) told me that I am starting to get into preeclampsia (also known as toxemia) territory. I guess my weight jumped 10 lbs in one month - and I haven't been eating that much! (chuckle)
That factor partnered with the high blood pressure and the racing heart rate - and a slight amount of protein in my urine has them a little bit concerned.
So strict orders are to stay off my feet, stay cool and drink LOTS of fluids for the next few days until I can see my regular doctor next Tuesday. Fortunately, I have no shifts until Wednesday at the earliest - so it doesn't inconvenience anyone too badly right now. But ultimately, he'll decided what is best for me and our baby girl next week - if I've bounced back then I'm sure the status quo will be fine. If not - then they may want me to quit work until the baby comes.
I'm really hoping and praying that I don't have to take the next two months off - that would sure make time drag (and two months of lost wages could cause a mind financial stumbling block... chuckle). But if that is the case, I know the Lord knows best. One thing I'm not so quick to do this pregnancy is to write things off as "fine".
So we really appreciate everyone's continued prayers for both me and the little peanut - and that Kurt will also be able to remain calm and rational. (He actually laughed out loud when the doctor told me no pickles... rolling eyes...) :)
I'm off to elevate my feet and drink a gallon of water (bladder - prepare thyself for a mighty onslaught...)
Have a good evening, everyone! :)

Ask...

.. and you shall receive.
This one is for you, Victoria. :)
Baby Manz is really starting to pop out!
Kurt took this last Friday morning before I left for work... it was exactly 23 weeks. (Which in our countdown means "Only 15 weeks to go!")

And to answer some other pressing questions (via the new Mrs Robbins... grin):

Work: I've been really enjoying my new job. Homecare nursing is pretty much what I've wanted to do since I entered school... both chronic and acute care - health promoti0n, education - lots of one-on-one time with my clients. I also have an amazing bunch of coworkers - both Home Health Aides and RNs. I feel like every day I'm stretched to think and function at a new level - new approaches to each person. Individuality is really emphasized - so it is hard as an RN to get into a "pattern" of dealing with people - each situation has to be assessed and each person has to be dealt with according to those strengths and weaknesses. (That's a positive thing, by the way... chuckle.) It feels like I'm finally starting to put the pieces of the puzzle together - which - in all honesty - I wondered if it would ever happen during my four long years of university. :) But I've been super-busy! I'm thankful for that, though. One of the "consequences" of not going back to work after Autumn was born was that I needed to start all over as far as Employment Insurance goes.

- For my American friends: In Canada you pay into EI from your date of hire. You can qualify for 15 weeks maternity leave and then another 9 months of parental leave (adds up to a year) if you have 600 hours from date of hire (works out to be aproximately 6 months of work). It's only 55% of your income - or a cap of $432 a week (before taxes) - but it sure helps, and it's nice to get a year off! I got my full maternity leave with Autumn, and then we decided that it would be best for me if I waited until we moved to start working again... postpartum was just too hard to think about going back to - and even on this side I am really thankful that Kurt (and all my PP coworkers/friends) supported that decision.

So anyway - with me only being casual (no "guaranteed" hours) it is still touch-and-go to see if I will get in my 600 hours before the baby is born. I'm doing pretty well - but if my coworkers don't take any more vacation I might not get the whole amount. (That's not pressure, Norma... BIG grin...) The nice thing about being an RN is that I have work options if I had to put in some time after the baby is born. And I think I can get mat-leave even if I don't start right after the baby is born if the hours get put in somewhere. So we're not too worried about that... God has taken care of so many other details (much bigger than this) that I'm actually excited to see what He's going to do.

Another life detail: Kurt is no longer working for Topigs Canada. The hog industry in Western Canada is anything but ideal - and so the week before last he received a phone call notifying him that his contract would be terminated. Initially when he told me my stomach dropped - but in all truthfulness we were expecting it - so when the news finally came it was almost more of a relief. Strange as it seems - it probably couldn't have happened at a better time. We have no mortgage, no student loans, and it costs very little to live in Leask. Plus - praising God for this one - I don't make bad money in my profession, either.
Kurt has also had plans to build a little meat-cutting place for the last few years and this is a very good opportunity to get that off the ground. So he's been working on layout plans and trying to get that ready to take to an engineering firm so he can then work on getting quotes from various contractors to get quotes and hopefully start building.
The goal - obviously - would be to use my parents pork (perfect health! no antibiotics! no growth hormones!... sigh - my thoughts on advertising in the food industry will be saved for another day...) and - in our own way - get into the family business. Again - when Kurt and I were talking about this situation the day it happened - I told him that I'm more excited to see how God will do things than concerned He won't.

Baby news: things are going really well. I'm much more tired (and stretched out!) this pregnancy - but the 8 hour shifts (as opposed to the 12s) are easier - and so is having a life. :) Enough said. She is moving like crazy - at 22 weeks she was moving strong enough for Kurt to feel her clearly - and a few days ago she was shaking around enough to move my whole tummy. I'm not eating straight sugar to get her to do this - honest. :) Last night I was pressing my tummy (okay - uterus) and she actually moved away from my hands. Interaction! :) I can't even really describe how much joy this gives me. Part of my battle is not looking at my womb as a place of death. That sounds dramatic - but Autumn died in the supposedly-safest place in the world. Each movement of this little girl causes my heart to lift heavenward in praise and petition. For the most part, God has given consistent periods of peace - and the truth to fight the fears when they come. I still appreciate your prayers so much - so thank you to everyone who brings us to Jesus - He is still proving to be so very strong.

Vacation:
Yaaaayyyyyyy!

Ahem...

One of the upsides of working a lot is that a vacation is just that. A break! :) I'm going to sit on the beach - or in the cabin if it is raining - and read books. I'm going to talk to my mom and dad - cuddle with Kurt and sleep in. And - by golly - I'm going to glorify God for the opportunity. :) We're going to Waskesiu (national park in northern SK) where my family has gone almost every year since I was about 12 - and - for the record - I'm going to love it. We stay here, by the way. My parents are up there now, and Kiley and Jessica are going up for a couple of nights with her parents who are out visiting, and my wonderful in-laws are watching Oscar for us.
Kurt had to help Kiley with some stuff at the farm today - but we're planing on meeting Gord and Lori in Prince Albert to exchange Oscar by 5 tonight - so that gives me the day to pack and tidy before we go.
I'm excited. No... more than that. I'm thrilled!!! :)

Renovations: most of everything is done - but we're waiting for the counter tops and my drapes. Both were back-ordered. (Downside of living within the single booming economy in the country - Ugh...) But as soon as they're both installed I will put up detailed before and after pictures. I promise!

Okay - I need to go spend some time reading my bible, talking to God, and planning for the rest of the day. Thanks for your patience, everyone. I'm amazed that the visitor counter still moves... chuckle. :) My work schedule isn't quite as busy for the next few weeks (so far) so I hope to post a little more often.

Blessings!
kendall

Hello

I feel like I should post something. But what should I say?
I've been working. Quite a bit lately, actually.
That's pretty much it. :)
Next week we get to take a trip with my folks for 4 whole days. I'm very excited - but I'll withhold the exclamation marks until I get closer to that whole stretch of days off.

Yaaaayyyyy...

I've still got a few more days to get through - but I'll post again soon. :)

Ohhhh... btw - whoever left the comment on the Sugar Plum nursery set - thanks! Great tip! :)

A Realization

I just got done listening to messages left for the Home Health Aides on my home phone because I'm on call tonight. (Everyone in the system gets "general" messages.) I left a couple of them today - and realized I sound all of about 14 years old when I talk. :)
Sigh.
I hope the baby knows I'm a grownup. In theory, anyway. :)

Ditching It, Etc...

So I'll just start this post with the disclaimer that I'm only posting because I feel guilty because I haven't posted. Not because I have anything specific I want to say. So if it feels random, or strange... you've been warned. Not that I know where I'm going with this, yet... but just in case...

Today was the second of my Bi-Weekly Grace Fellowship Ladies Tea. I hope that I'm not the only one who feels like it's relaxed and a good place to just get to know one another better as we press on and try to minister and encourage one another. If you were there: don't forget to pray for your person! :)

(FYI: Everyone wrote their name, date and a few prayer requests on a card which we randomly drew from a bag so that everyone would know that someone was praying for them for the next couple of weeks. I hope it works... praying for people always helps relationships grow. :))

Ummm... my parents are leaving for Hawaii on the 19th. I'm sure it will be hard for them to leave us here. ;) We'll be watching their house for some of that time (not to be too specific for those who would wish to remove from us all our worldly possessions) and making sure that their 50" plasma is okay without them. ;) I'm only sorry the Brier will be done by then. Nothing like curling on the big screen with surround sound... I am not being sarcastic.

We will - Lord willing - be listing out house next week. The realtor is coming Monday afternoon to take pictures - with the plan to put it on the market on the 19th. Hopefully it will sell quickly. The realtor is pretty optimistic that with the market being so hot that it won't last any longer than 5 days. If the Lord works that out, I'll be pretty happy. If He doesn't... then I shall determine to be content regardless. :) It's pretty exciting... and a great time to be living in Saskatoon. Kurt read in the Globe and Mail that the two hottest housing markets in the country right now are Newfoundland and Saskatchewan. Go figure...

Anyway - we gave the guys downstairs their 24+many hours of notice to make sure the floors are visible and the counters clear. :) Hopefully it won't be to much of a challenge for them with midterms, etc.

I had kind of a rough night last night. I was thinking about the morning Autumn was born, and just how sad it was. The more I remember, the more I realize what a sense of shock pervaded the entire experience... I can't believe I was ever pregnant - let alone gave birth to a beautiful little girl. It's hard to believe she would have been 5 months old on the 21st. It's hard to choose to not dwell upon it - but sometimes I really just have to make that choice. There are better times than others to grieve... and better ways. But I'll continue to walk this by God's grace. Thanks to those who continue to pray for Kurt and I. :)

Oh - one last story!

Kurt and I had quite the adventure the other day. On our way to Swift Current (another road trip) and out in the boonies between Davidson and Eyebrow (the second is really the name of a town - check it out here) on a grid road we hit some ice and washboard and ditched the truck doing at least 90kms. Kurt handled it really well, though - and steered straight in. (If you try to pull it out you'll probably roll as soon as even one tire hits the snow... it's really much better to ride straight and still be intact.) Fortunately, there was at least 4 feet of snow in the ditch that slowed us down, the air bags didn't deploy, and we didn't take out the farmer's fence. Unfortunately, because the underside of the truck filled with snow (from bottom to top) the truck immediately stalled. And it was -18. Kurt dressed up and started walking to the "nearby" farmer's house... which was actually about 2 miles away. That farmer wasn't home. (I had said before he left the truck, "What if he isn't home?" and Kurt said, "I'm sure he'll be there." Ahem.) But he had taken his phone and was able to call my mom to look up tow-truck companies. Long story short (3 hours later) we were pulled out by a tow truck from Craik. He charged $1.80 a kilometer... but it was worth it to get out of the ditch. The bright side was that the nice warm March sun kept me pretty cozy in the truck even though it was pretty cold out. In fact, when I was standing out of the truck when it was being winched out, I actually windburned/frostbit my face - so I'm super glad we didn't roll and break windows or anything!

Kurt and the tow truck driver then had to dig all the snow out from under the hood, around the radiator, fan belt... everything - so that the truck could start and stay running. They did a pretty good job... and the truck ran well for the next 2 days, and there don't seem to be any lingering negative effects - but it was a pretty crazy adventure! :) Of all the times to not take my camera... it would have been great to post a picture of our half-buried truck! I was just really glad we weren't in the car - which probably wouldn't have had much of an undercarriage left...

Our wonderful little truck when we got it... Dodge Trucks rock!

So! :) I think that will suffice for now. Thanks for checking, everyone - especially when I haven't been the most faithful with posting during the last week.

PS: Let me know what you think of the "Charlie" video! I still laugh every time I watch it! :-D

The Scoop

It's hard to categorize the heart-atmosphere (so to speak) for me of the past week. This cold has taken it's sweet time to leave me alone, and that, plus the road trips has been exhausting. It is so wonderful to spend time with Kurt and not be alone, but the living out of a suitcase is hard. Especially when it is a race to get the laundry done in time to leave again in a couple of days. :)

In so many ways, I have been dreading this season since the 19th of October... and to realize that it is here and so vastly different from what it was 'supposed' to have been is hard. Attitude is everything... and I have - admittedly - not been very immersed in the Word or prayer lately. "No time" feels like such an excuse... but the mode of the last week was "Go, go, go!" The old struggles with anger and disappointment and "why me?" came back with a vengeance.

Tears were pretty steady - and my eyes often felt like cotton balls. Yes - an unpleasant description - but accurate nonetheless. (chuckle) Seeing baby clothes in Extra Foods... focusing on a dog with a gimpy leg versus the preferred daughter... seeing my in-laws and thinking, "Grampa should be holding Autumn right now."... coming home to a very empty and quiet house - again... fearing that perhaps she was and will be our only child... remembering how we were so close...

This past weekend was "Melfort Christmas" due to that being the only time we could coordinate all schedules and be together this month. I went downstairs at one point to get my glasses and ended up staying down there for 45 minutes at one point having a good-long cry. God providentially arranged Kurt to come down for something, and he was able to hold me and we cried together over our first Christmas without our first-born child.

It's just so sad... and I am dismayed at how often that turns to self-pity in my case. At times it feels like I am barely keeping my own head above water with my own grief - let alone trying to minister to others. BUT (and there is always a 'but') the truth is that instead of asking "Why me?" I should ask, "Why not me?" God gave this to us, and His character is all-wise and all-good... completely just all the time. If it wasn't the best thing, it wouldn't have happened. Faith is a heart that sees light when the eyes see only darkness...

But the Lord uses many things to bring me back to Himself... what a blessing to trust that this is only one of the things He has planned for me to persevere through - and He has given me many gifts in spite of myself. Like our family...
My husband who loves me.
My mother who understands me as a woman probably better than anyone, and comes alongside me with a heart that yearns to help - and by weeping with me she does just that.
My dad who hurts for Kurt not getting to have his own "pooh" and hopes and prays for more children for us.


Kurt and Dad at the hospital... what comforts hugs can be in the midst of tears!

My mother-in-law who was thrilled with her "grandma" mug... her giving and kind spirit are such a blessing to us.
My father-in-law whose eyes still fill with tears anytime we talk of his beautiful little granddaughter - I know he thinks of her often.
Thank you to all of you - and our brothers and sisters-in-law... God uses you so wonderfully to encourage us!

Anyway, your prayers are appreciated again this week - as we're heading out again tomorrow for a short trip to deliver Christmas gifts to customers. After this, we're home until Christmas day/week and then we have some down time until the new year... praise God. :)

God bless everyone... and I don't plan to take another week off - at least not intentionally. :)

Quick Update

What's been happening - in point form! :)

1) I started Autumn's scrapbook... more emotionally taxing than I thought it would be - have had a few really intense (yet therapeutic) cries.

2) We saw Martian Child. Didn't cry - Kurt almost did because the guy's dog died. This was only hard because his wife died first... overall not a bad movie.

3) My sister-in-law, Jessica, took me for a manicure. It was fun. :) Hers was better than mine for 3 reasons: she has longer nails, she wasn't in a rush to leave and watch Martian Child, and the girl who did her nails wasn't rushing either... mine blitzed through mine and didn't do the best job... aye carumba! But we'll for sure do it again, Jess - thanks again! :) Love you lots!

4) It's a blizzard across the entire country! Kurt's been doing a lot of shoveling...

5) Manitoba Hog Days - here we come!
... so Cody will be doing lots of shoveling. ;)

Hopefully I can blog a little bit from the hotel. If we get there - thanks to la nina (can't put the little squiggles over the 'n') and the universal blizzard. (I like snow, actually... just gets a little stressful to travel in, though.)

Farewell for the moment...