Monday, August 6, 2007

Sick Day

Feeling tired? Sick? Burnt out physically, emotionally and spiritually?

Me too. (sigh.)

Today was a "sick day"... after 3 straight shifts, very little sleep, a trip to visit Kurt's folks, and a day at the lake (happy 84th Grandpa E!), my throat was aching, my body tired (lower girdle pain has finally hit and matches the lower rib pain in intensity) and I needed to sleep as though deceased.

After a lot of discussion with Kurt, I decided to phone in ill - and I'm glad I did... 'cause although my throat still hurts, it isn't nearly as bad after some much needed sleep. I should be able to work the rest of my scheduled shifts until the baby comes without much problem. And there are other benefits to staying home for a "sick day"...

There isn't another book of the bible that speaks as well to me in that last state (spiritually burnt out) as the book of Hebrews. The writer (who remains nameless) is exceedingly gentle as he reminds the readers how to respond when (not if) troubles happen... and he gives encouragement and reminders that speak to a weary soul.

So often I fall back into that "old covenant" mindset - where God rewards and punishes me based upon my efforts - or (gasp!) lack thereof. I understand intellectually, of course, that my right-standing with God is based upon Christ's work, and his righteousness being counted to me... but when things aren't going well, the temptation is to hide from God - like Adam and Eve - until I can figure out a solution to my 'sin-problem'.

I am reluctant to open my bible thinking, "I wouldn't even know where to start!" and tell myself that I have to get into the "right" mindset before coming to the Lord to ask for forgiveness. I want to pull up my bootstraps and bring myself to God 'appropriately' humbled and soft - so that then he may do a work in my heart... and the obvious end to that sad tale is that I flounder around in my own efforts (uninspired), my own sin (unconvicted) and falling further and further away from the joy of knowing and being known by Christ.

Anyone else know what that is like?

Enter the beloved book of Hebrews. It starts by re-introducing Christ - not a baby in a manger, not a bleeding man on a tree, but the God who "upholds the universe by the word of His power" (1:3) It goes on to say that if this Jesus has said something, we had better listen - and keep on listening lest we "drift away from it" (2:1) and "neglect such a great salvation" (2:3) In my state this morning, warning bells were going off... Chapter 3 has no less conviction as the writer states, "Take care - lest you have an evil, unbelieving heart leading you to fall away from the living God" (3:12). My soul gulps as I realize that although I am hardened, and have neglected the word, and given little thought to Christ - I don't want to do it anymore. I am appropriately salted - bring on the refreshment!

What can I say? Is this a God who casts blame? Does he resent me for my days and weeks of dullness? Does he want me to do penance to show that I am really sorry? Nope. Chapter 4 shouts the answer triumphantly:

"For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect was tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need."

In the wonderful freedom and depth of the New Covenant there are these compound truths: as a believer my sin is paid in full - cast away as far as the east is from the west (praise God it isn't north from south!). Christ is my intercessor - and I am covered in His righteousness so thoroughly that before God, it is as though I have never sinned. There is 'no condemnation' in Christ Jesus... and He bids me to come to him full of flaws and weary with the burden of sin with the exhortation, "I will give you rest". Then, as if that weren't enough, he tells me, "My Abba is your Abba." and promises to help me endure to the end by His Spirit who teaches me and even helps me to pray - since I don't do that (among other things) so well.

Wow.

Praise God for sick days. :)

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