Live From 'Doubting Castle'!

There are some days when I find myself slipping so easily into "Doubting Castle" (a shout-out to all the Pilgrim's Progress readers!).

I find myself diligently telling the Lord the things I want - or that other people 'need'... and then proceed to tell myself (not directly, of course) "it's probably not going to happen anyway".

I've been somewhat convicted of this lack of trust... realizing that I'm more fatalistic than faithful.

Slap in the face this morning?
Genesis 18:14.

Incidentally, Abraham happens to be discussing his lack of children with the Lord. (double-slap!) When the Lord tells him that his wife (who happens to be 80-something) is going to have a baby next year, she overhears it and starts laughing. In Sarah's defense, we probably would all find this somewhat humorous... but it's embarrassing for Sarah as the Lord says to her quite matter- of-factly, "Why are you laughing?" But for me, the point of this passage isn't so much the rebuke as the words that He says to her in verse 14:

"Is anything too hard for the Lord?"

Hmmmm.... (deep, contemplative and full of introspection)

Sure, in theory I know this. I understand (by faith) that He holds the universe together. I know that he keeps my heart beating, my lungs breathing and my brain functioning... keeps cars on the road, planes in the air, gravity working... etc, etc, etc,

But what does that mean?? Like... practically?

"Is anything too hard for the Lord?"

Is it harder for the Lord to make a baby, or to supply barley and staff for my parents?
Is it harder for the Lord to open people's eyes to their need for Him, or to form an eye?
Is it harder for the Lord to build His church, or to make sure that deer don't jump into the path of a car as it careens down the road at 100+/hour?

Do you see where I am going with this? The point isn't that one is harder than the other for him - the point is that nothing is hard for Him. Big things, little things... significant and "impossible" as well as presumptously obvious. Things that have 'solutions' and situations with 'no way out'.

There are three points (based upon this verse and others) that should shape the way I function on a day-to-day basis:

1) God controls everything - including the situations (humanly defined as 'good' or 'bad') we find ourselves in.
2) God has a plan He is actively working out on earth and in our lives. So if things continue to be 'good' or 'bad' we can know that is part of His plan for us for the time being. OR - as in my personal case - if things drastically change from what we were expecting, that is part of His plan for me for the time being.
3) THE BIG ONE: My duty, knowing the above, is to petition Him, praise Him, and submit to Him - all the while knowing that He (and only He) is capable of bringing the exact circumstances across my path to get me 'where I am going' and that nothing is "too hard for the Lord".

So much for my 'no theology before noon' rule. ;)
(Just kidding - I have no such rule...)

Perhaps I have opened up a can of worms this morning - and for anyone that is shaking their head wondering where the heck all that came from - I apologize. :) But my hope - really and truly - is to give some reason to those of you who have wondered why Kurt and I are 'so strong' (I truly wince when I hear that because it gives me too much credit... chuckle). And maybe - just maybe - my thoughts can encourage anyone else who struggles at times (like me!) with despising your circumstances, feeling like prayer is useless and God is distant.

I doubt. I fear. I don't know if the future holds the things I desire (which causes more of the original struggles... chuckle)
But I fight to believe - based on the words of God in the bible - that a good and kind God holds my destiny in His more-than-capable hands.
He loves to hear me pray. He loves to make my heart happy in Him. He gently reminds me with the words, "Is anything too hard for me?" and then - miracle of miracles! - I can rest. Stop worrying. Stop doubting. Like a baby who sleeps in her daddy's arms... I know I won't be dropped - and everything else is 'okay'.
It's kinda like a bus tour. Even if you find yourself staring out the window at the Grand Canyon and thinking, "I thought I was going to see Buckingham Palace!" (making it an amazing floating bus... lol!) there is the assurance that no matter how different the view is from what you expect you'll get where the driver promised when you first stepped on the bus. The destination is determined and impossible to miss... the ride, therefore, needs trust to be enjoyed.
I believe - with humble adoration - that Jesus has made a way for me to be with Him in heaven. He paid for the sins that separated me from God and I have been adopted. Crazy. Unbelievable. But the bible says, "True." There is the destination.
I thought I would marry, finish school, and have a wonderful live baby girl. That's Buckingham Palace.
My present circumstances resemble the Grand Canyon (small smile).
But the Lord - my driver - says, "Your destination is still sure. Keep trusting me."
Despite the grief, the fears, the doubts - the things I think He won't or can't do... His words are true. He is healing my broken heart and refreshing my weary spirit. He is reminding me that prayer is powerful and useful... because nothing is too hard for Him.

So... today is a hopeful and good day. I used the key of promise! (Seriously - if you haven't read Pilgrim's Progress - go get a copy!)
I hope that God comforts your heart today... whatever your circumstances. :)
Blessings!
kendall