Scary Face

Photo credit goes to Julie Cortens.
Last month, she asked Peyton to show her the "scary-face" at East Side Marios.
Peyton loves to accommodate. (lol.)
Facial credit goes to my husband. He has also taught her "mad" and "happy" which she does in rapid sequence over and over until her face tires out.
It's quite funny - but I doubt I could catch it on camera.
So I'm glad I have this one! :-D

(this is on my desktop, by the way)

I Love Surprises

I feel like I'm not even pregnant some days.
And then I get that little flutter deep down inside and remember. :)
I'm really thankful God made this little one so active so early, too - it is a blessing to my heart since I don't trust my own womb to keep him or her safe and insulated from danger. Feeling those movements remind me daily of who made this baby, and who keeps him or her safe. And more to that point: that my worrying doesn't do a thing.

It's so strange how different it is, though.
I spent hours in my first two pregnancies daydreaming about the future: the baby's looks, feedings, using the carseat... and the second had such a heightened sense of urgency. The summer felt like years.
And this time?
I'm get a little surprised every few days. I plan things to do this summer and Kurt will be like, "You'll be how many weeks along then?" and I think, "Oh yeah. No water-skiing this year."

I think it will (somewhat obviously) begin to make a bigger impact on me as the next few weeks go by. And then - baby willing - we'll be able to find out the gender at our ultrasound... which will make it more real, I'm sure.

But for now - it's kinda like Christmas every day. (chuckle)

To Jessica in Super-Hot Ontario (i'm so unspeakably jealous)

It's probably gonna snow tonight, Jessica.
Just so you know, you picked a great time to leave. :) Not what we would normally expect for almost June. But at least it's green.

I say this over and over until I believe it.

I've been wearing my capris for work the last couple of days and all my clients are like, "Wow. You're so brave, summer-girl." and I don't even have the gusto to tell them that all I have pregnancy-wise is summer-clothes! I don't own a pair of long pants that I can wear comfortably for a whole day. I console myself by thinking about people that wear skirts in winter. I'm not that crazy.

Besides that: We got awesome pedicures so we could show them off in flip-flops, right? My lovely polish is gonna chip off because I've been wearing socks and shoes every day! Grrrr...

But I digress.
We invited Kiley over for supper and a game and/or movie tonight. Plus I want to order a ton of stuff of your website and I would like him to put the order in. :) We'll probably go for a game, 'cause I doubt that Kurt is going to stay awake for a movie no matter how good his intentions are. I literally dragged him off the couch the other night. Seriously. I used a move I hadn't utilized since I stopped working at the nursing home. :)

I also wanted to tell you that Peyton has started referring to you today as "Auntie-Kiley". And if I ask about Kiley she forcefully corrects me to day, "Uncle Kiley." So she does know the difference. :) I'm sure eventually you'll get your own name - but I do think it's quite hilarious how kids draw associations like that.

(For those of you eavesdropping on this letter to Jessica - one of Peyton's favorite words is "Kiley". She's been saying it perfectly for months and months. And once she got the hang of 'Auntie' a few weeks ago that has been Jessica's exclusive name. She has 2 aunties, but the other one is "Man-da". She knows who-is-who!)

Anyway, I suggested to Kurt that he BBQ burgers. He 'refused' until I bribed him with a batch of potato salad. The calender says it's summer - so we're gonna eat summer food!
Which is kinda easy for me to say since I do not stand out in the rain and slush - but I kinda think that is part of being a husband, don't you think? It's a fair trade-off for... oh... I don't know: Labour.

Touche, Kurt! Bah-ha-ha!

Anyway, hope you're having a great time and don't get too hot or sunburned or anything so horribly summer-ish happening to you. :)

love ya! ;-D

Babysitting

Today I am so, so, soooo thankful for a job that is flexible enough to let me come home for a few hours due to a lack of babysitters. Kurt and I kinda got our wires crossed today and there ended up being 2 hours where Peyton would have had to be left at home alone. Since that wasn't really an option, we've juggled our schedules to cover the whole day. Not too stressful - I'm just amazed how easy it was to come up with a solution.

I have to say that if I'm here feeling like I'm "babysitting" Peyton we have a blast. I know I have to go back to work at 11, so I'm not thinking about the laundry that is piling up, or the dirty bathroom(s) that needs to be cleaned, or dusting my living room. I'm just enjoying the morning with my daughter. :)

And I think she enjoyed it too: we read books, played with her dolls, gave everyone needles (she was obviously impacted by her Public Health visit a couple of weeks ago - chuckle), and eventually, we went to her room and rocked while singing lullabies. The lullaby thing is relatively new for her: her favorites are "Rock-a-be-be" (Rock-a-bye Baby) and "Papa" (Hush-little-Baby). :) She calms right down and snuggles her blanket until it gets too cramped for her and she tells me, "kib" (crib). I settled her in, kissed her forehead and then had a few minutes to blog besides! :)

So to all you busy mommies out there, if you can take a break from being a mom for even a little while and pretend you're a babysitter... it's a nice change of pace. :) I sure enjoyed it this morning!

Time Is Flying

So - the real reason I wanted to confess my pregnancy on the blog is so that I could keep track of it with a counter.
I blinked twice today when it said 15 weeks.
Holy smokes.
How did that happen so quickly??

Seven Years Ago Today

(I'm on a theme)
While I wait for Kurt to get home so we can rush to the city for a good friend's wedding, I'm reminded of the anticipation this day held for me 7 years ago.

The guy I was madly in love with took me for a picnic, wrote me a poem, told me he loved me - asked me to marry him - and gave me a ring that to this day I still get compliments on. (I always say, "Yes. And he picked it out all by himself!" To which everyone says, "Ohhh!") Without a doubt, one of the best days of my life.

That memory has an all-encompassing happy haze around it that is a great place to re-enter if we're having some tough days.

What a ride.

Happy May 22nd, everyone.
But especially you, my hottie-hubby. :) I love you.

One Year Ago Today

My daughter had a LOT less hair. :)

And now this beautiful bride is about to become a Mommy herself for the first time! :)
Happy 1st anniversary, Sammy and Allison! What an eventful and exciting first year you two have had already! :)
Allison, I am honored to have been able to watch you grow into a lovely and gentle young woman. You are transparent and kind - a true example to me. It is a privilege to call you a friend. And how exciting that we will be new mommies together come the fall! I love you dearly - I hope and pray you have a wonderful day and a blessed 2nd year of marriage. :)

Za Wee Bump

... and Peyton saying, "Cheese!" She does that every time she sees a camera, now. :)

Pre-date last night - those are preggo jeans. I already have some of the stuff. Why not be comfortable, right? :) I'm only 13 weeks and I honestly look at least 16 or 18. Sigh.
Oh well - 3rd baby, right? Gotta love it!

Anyway - the movie was interrupted by a power-outage. It was so far so good... but we got theater credits to go see it again.
Or, as my husband casually suggested as we exited the lobby, "We could just rent this one at home and go see Robin Hood." Hmmmm...

It's okay. I actually prefer to watch movies at home. Eat my own food. Use my own bathroom. Wear my jammie-jams and get a back rub from Kurt - without having to sit elbow-to-elbow with strangers. Besides - I swear that theaters smell like feet. I deal with that enough for work.

Win. Win.

Oh - and one more pic that helps sum-up date night:
This is Kurt's face as he realized what the little "treat" of side-gravy for the fries cost us - a whopping $1.25 - lol!

I couldn't stop laughing after I looked at this picture. He's trying to be calm (it is "date night" after all) - but you can tell by his eyes that he's kinda freaking out on the inside.

Ahhhhh... I so love, love, love my thrifty German boy. :-D

Teamwork!

Please join me in saluting my daughter who took a nice long nap and allowed me to get ready for my date with her Daddy tonight.
I'm sure he'll appreciate shaved legs, washed hair, and a well-made-up wife.
I know I feel better. :)
Good job, Peyton! Way to be a team-player!

-- Kurt is such a great guy! He's taking me to 'Letters to Juliet'. Ahhhh! I'm so excited. :)

-- And yes - I did add a pregnancy ticker. Cute, huh? If B.III cooperates, I'll change it to be more gender specific in a few weeks. Until then: green will do. :)

The Season of Growing

It truly amazes me what spring can do for the soul. It's like everything wakes up inside me. Hope blooms.
It helps that the nausea is almost gone.
Even going to work isn't as hard when the sun shines down as I get in and out of the car - and don't have to take my shoes off when I go into people's houses. :) I'm uber-thankful that I'm not facility bound when this time of year comes around. I have vivid memories of watching at least 2 summers slide by through the windows of a hospital and nursing home.

This is all good, because I'm trying to work more hours over the next few months in order to increase my maternity leave income. After starting back to work (albeit casually) when Peyton was only 6 months old, I have my heart set on taking the full year off this time.

Kurt and I decided to get the nuchual translucency test done for this baby. It was never offered to us before - but now it's part of a routinely offered screen for Downs Syndrome. I honestly wasn't worried about that - I just wanted a look at the wee-one in all his/her squirmy glory.
The first test BManz III was too small to measure - so I had to reschedule for this past Monday. I am amazed at how much the baby had grown in a week-and-a-half. I actually said to the doctor, "Whoa. If it was a tumor growing that fast -" and she finished, "Yep. You'd be in trouble." :)

Seeing him/her made it a little bit more real. There is still - at times - such a sense of detachment from this pregnancy. I'm just sick. Or working. Or hanging out with Kurt and Peyton... and then I go to the doctor and see this baby jumping up and down off the walls of my uterus and think, "Wow God." and it kinda just stops there.

The strange (and hugely different part) of this pregnancy is that I'm not longing for it to be over. Unlike before. With Autumn it was our first baby - I couldn't wait to meet her - find out if she was indeed a "she". To find out who she looked like - try breastfeeding - do the whole sleep-deprivation thing.... everything new and exciting.

With Peyton there was such an urgency and longing to fill my empty arms. To hold my child. To hear her cries. Watch her chest move up and down as she slept. And that moment - still to this day the single best of my life - when she lay on my chest and took her first cries...
I can't even think of it without tears coming. How much I love the Lord for that moment.

This time, though - I am content to enjoy it. Having reached the second trimester, I'm not as eager to enter my third - knowing that it brings more fatigue, aching and - in my case - swelling. :) I want to savor the weeks with Peyton and Kurt - go to the lake, take walks, feel the baby grow and move and kick my ribs, find out the gender on the ultrasound, paint the room (yes, they'll share), drink a lot of dealcoholized beer (it's summer, after all - wink)... and to practice trusting God.

And yet - after all that - I also feel less "comfortable" in this third pregnancy. With Autumn I was naive. With Peyton, I felt somewhat certain that God would not break me again so quickly after her sister's death. But now... it's kinda hard to describe - other than to say that my heart's desire is to rest on God's goodness. To wait. To hope - preferably without fear.

I want to hang out with the whole passel of girls in our church who are expecting ( 3 within weeks of us!), and not be a reminder of what could happen. Honestly, as I've heard each joyful announcement, I've sent a plea heavenward, "Lord. Please don't let any of us be the one left behind..." I've done that. Yet even as that prayer is uttered, I know He both gives and takes away... and He sustains in both cases.

I want to watch God create this miraculous life - as He has done twice in my womb before - and simply marvel. He does not need my peace of mind to do that - nor does my anxiety hinder him. Good to remember.

So, only... counting quickly... 25 weeks to go. (small smile)
Thanks for your prayers, everyone.

Record-Setting Reponse Time

Wow.

You guys are quick!
Not only here - but my facebook page (which I only casually checked because I thought, "Maybe someone noticed.") was pretty full, too.

Yeppers, folks.
BManz III is due November 17th, 2010.

I've been sick.
BLECH sick.
Too sick to do anything but move from the couch to the bed while carrying my faithful 4-gallon ice cream pail with me. When Peyton sees a pail, she says, "BLE-E-E-ECHHHH!!" and sticks her tongue out. A born mimic, that one...

But - at 12.5 weeks - the fog is finally starting to lift a little and to quote my dear husband, "Kendall is coming back."

It's been a surprisingly emotional pregnancy already - the gamut of joy to terror to disbelief to sheer exhaustion that encompasses everything else.

I'm learning to trust God all over again - and in a way I have not yet had to. It's strange. Crazy strange. And now that I've stopped throwing up (for the most part), I might actually be able to process some of that.

BUT - as my daughter just woke up and I have to head to S'toon in a half-hour - those thoughts will hopefully be expressed a little more fully over the next few weeks. Or months.

About 6 months, actually.

Love you all, friends.
Your love, prayers and excitement mean more than I can express. :)
kendall

Hello? Hello?

Yep.

Manzville has been pretty quiet these past few months.
It's been a good reason.
Honest.

I'll share soon.

If there are any readers left....

?

(chirp. chirp.)