You Know Spring Has Arrived When...

Evening walks resume (even while I have a horrible cold! :-P)

Yeah. So...

In case I forgot to mention: we went to Arizona - had a blast - and now we're home. Sigh.
A glimpse of a couple family members in warmer times... :)
(doesn't Peyton look so grown-up???)

Best Political Add EVER!

*pause the music player*

A little more to the American-style campaigning than Canadian - but nevertheless...

I love that it's approved by summer and paid for by spring and fall... :)

(Thanks 22words)

Where Did February Go? (it got buried under all that snow, I guess...)

Helloooo!

Tenley is napping and Peyton is enjoying her daily dose of the Mickey Mouse Club - so I've literally got about 8 minutes to give a quick update.

We got through the family's second round of colds last week. Not as scary as the first: no hospitalizations now that Tenley can actually turn her head to cough. It made for some grumpy days with Peyton - who one day told Kurt, "I feel crummy, Daddy." Truer words were never spoken. She used up almost a whole bottle of childrens Advil - but the drippy nose has finally stopped. So glad that's over... and praying spring will quickly arrive! (Hard to imagine with the 6-foot snow pile by the driveway - but a girl can hope, right?)

Speaking of snow: I won't say this often because I am severely lacking storage space: but I am very thankful we don't have a basement this year. When all that snow starts to melt, I don't have to worry about getting a sump pump in gear. That said: we might just up and float away in this-here trailer... but that's another trial for another day. ;)

These days find me working on being a good mom. And I don't mean that lightly. I ordered the book "Don't Make Me Count to Three" a few weeks ago. The first 3 chapters have already just reinforced to me what a major responsibility it is to be these girl's mommy. Needless to say, feeling that has caused me to seek out God more: making a daily time to read and pray for me (ahem!) them. ;)

I've cut waaay back on facebook and (duh.) blogging time. We've been baking and doing laundry and singing and dancing the days away. We're currently working on perfecting Usher's amazing leg-jives from the video "DJ's got us falling in love." (I did not claim that everything were were doing was profitable.)

We're not going stir crazy yet - but when we get close I enforce the non-optional nap time. It's good to be the boss. (Baa-ha-ha.)

And... (3 minutes left)... it's cold. Super-cold. Even by middle-Saskatchewan standards. -36 this morning. (-32.8 F) before windchill.

That's crazy cold.

Kurt has to haul pigs today - so I'm praying he and they all stay safe and warm as they travel. I'm also thanking the Lord for a furnace that is running consistently (albeit often!) - and a vent right by my feet as I type.

I have to admit that I'm counting down the days until we leave this vast and barren land for the hot version of it down south. Arizona, here we come! :) T-minus 17 days until departure...

Okay - must run - but a picture before I depart!Baba (my dad's mom) made Tenley's toque and mittens - and Peyton wanted to be part of the picture, too. It's winter, people - look at my kids! :)

Ack! Tenley is crying in the other room: short and sweet. Talk to you sometime within the next month or so soon!

kendall

Shock? (no, not really)

I gotta say I don't mind the snow.
Despite my girlfriend not being able to visit today (next time, Shiela!).
Despite Kurt having to go to Shellbrook for a truck check-up. (glad it's a 4x4)
Despite the chill - and the swirling snow tornadoes outside...

I have a warm house with TWO furnaces, cozy clothes and no need to venture outside today.

Besides - it's kinda like biting the bullet, you know?
We knew "it" was coming.
It's here now.
So we move on with the year.

Thanks God for the changing seasons...
(but I do pray it is nicer this weekend and next week as we head to Saskatoon to hopefully meet BManz III!)

My Birthday in Pictures

Hung out with the farmers...

Especially this cute one... my personal favorite of the bunch.

Ate birthday cupcakes made by Gramma Lori while waiting in the truck.
Peyton was the messiest by far - but a fairly easy cleanup thanks to being in the field. ;)

Despite the colds, it was a gorgeous day and a great snippet of family time. Hard to believe it was 3 days ago already... a foreshadow of the weeks to come? Sheesh...

October 3 (in a nutshell)

I'm 30.
I've got a cold.
So does my daughter...
therefore, no trek into Saskatoon this morning.

Kurt is trucking.
... but we had a great visit this morning and he 'told' me what his birthday card would say.
He's very sweet, and I am mega-in-love with that man.

It's a gorgeous day - so despite the runny noses and annoying coughs:
We're planning on having a picnic in the grain truck this afternoon.

Baby is active!

Also:
I love coffee.

We bought a new truck yesterday
... and I said goodbye to both my minivan and my SUV. (sigh)
But I'll put up a picture of the new truck very soon.
It's pretty much as sexy as a 1/2 ton(ne), 4x4, extended-cab truck can be.
At least I think so. :)

Drama, right?

Harvest 2010

Praising God for a SECOND day of great weather...
Visiting Daddy in the field.

Posing in front of the "ka-bine"s...

In the "semi-tuk" with Papa...

Waiting for the fill with Daddy...

In the meanwhile, the road outside of our house in town is a semi-super-highway!
Lots of dust, lots of noise - and lots of delight for Peyton! :)
Looking back at 2009, it sure is obvious the changes that one year can make.
At least I'm not the only one who looks bigger different. (lol!)

To Jessica in Super-Hot Ontario (i'm so unspeakably jealous)

It's probably gonna snow tonight, Jessica.
Just so you know, you picked a great time to leave. :) Not what we would normally expect for almost June. But at least it's green.

I say this over and over until I believe it.

I've been wearing my capris for work the last couple of days and all my clients are like, "Wow. You're so brave, summer-girl." and I don't even have the gusto to tell them that all I have pregnancy-wise is summer-clothes! I don't own a pair of long pants that I can wear comfortably for a whole day. I console myself by thinking about people that wear skirts in winter. I'm not that crazy.

Besides that: We got awesome pedicures so we could show them off in flip-flops, right? My lovely polish is gonna chip off because I've been wearing socks and shoes every day! Grrrr...

But I digress.
We invited Kiley over for supper and a game and/or movie tonight. Plus I want to order a ton of stuff of your website and I would like him to put the order in. :) We'll probably go for a game, 'cause I doubt that Kurt is going to stay awake for a movie no matter how good his intentions are. I literally dragged him off the couch the other night. Seriously. I used a move I hadn't utilized since I stopped working at the nursing home. :)

I also wanted to tell you that Peyton has started referring to you today as "Auntie-Kiley". And if I ask about Kiley she forcefully corrects me to day, "Uncle Kiley." So she does know the difference. :) I'm sure eventually you'll get your own name - but I do think it's quite hilarious how kids draw associations like that.

(For those of you eavesdropping on this letter to Jessica - one of Peyton's favorite words is "Kiley". She's been saying it perfectly for months and months. And once she got the hang of 'Auntie' a few weeks ago that has been Jessica's exclusive name. She has 2 aunties, but the other one is "Man-da". She knows who-is-who!)

Anyway, I suggested to Kurt that he BBQ burgers. He 'refused' until I bribed him with a batch of potato salad. The calender says it's summer - so we're gonna eat summer food!
Which is kinda easy for me to say since I do not stand out in the rain and slush - but I kinda think that is part of being a husband, don't you think? It's a fair trade-off for... oh... I don't know: Labour.

Touche, Kurt! Bah-ha-ha!

Anyway, hope you're having a great time and don't get too hot or sunburned or anything so horribly summer-ish happening to you. :)

love ya! ;-D

The Season of Growing

It truly amazes me what spring can do for the soul. It's like everything wakes up inside me. Hope blooms.
It helps that the nausea is almost gone.
Even going to work isn't as hard when the sun shines down as I get in and out of the car - and don't have to take my shoes off when I go into people's houses. :) I'm uber-thankful that I'm not facility bound when this time of year comes around. I have vivid memories of watching at least 2 summers slide by through the windows of a hospital and nursing home.

This is all good, because I'm trying to work more hours over the next few months in order to increase my maternity leave income. After starting back to work (albeit casually) when Peyton was only 6 months old, I have my heart set on taking the full year off this time.

Kurt and I decided to get the nuchual translucency test done for this baby. It was never offered to us before - but now it's part of a routinely offered screen for Downs Syndrome. I honestly wasn't worried about that - I just wanted a look at the wee-one in all his/her squirmy glory.
The first test BManz III was too small to measure - so I had to reschedule for this past Monday. I am amazed at how much the baby had grown in a week-and-a-half. I actually said to the doctor, "Whoa. If it was a tumor growing that fast -" and she finished, "Yep. You'd be in trouble." :)

Seeing him/her made it a little bit more real. There is still - at times - such a sense of detachment from this pregnancy. I'm just sick. Or working. Or hanging out with Kurt and Peyton... and then I go to the doctor and see this baby jumping up and down off the walls of my uterus and think, "Wow God." and it kinda just stops there.

The strange (and hugely different part) of this pregnancy is that I'm not longing for it to be over. Unlike before. With Autumn it was our first baby - I couldn't wait to meet her - find out if she was indeed a "she". To find out who she looked like - try breastfeeding - do the whole sleep-deprivation thing.... everything new and exciting.

With Peyton there was such an urgency and longing to fill my empty arms. To hold my child. To hear her cries. Watch her chest move up and down as she slept. And that moment - still to this day the single best of my life - when she lay on my chest and took her first cries...
I can't even think of it without tears coming. How much I love the Lord for that moment.

This time, though - I am content to enjoy it. Having reached the second trimester, I'm not as eager to enter my third - knowing that it brings more fatigue, aching and - in my case - swelling. :) I want to savor the weeks with Peyton and Kurt - go to the lake, take walks, feel the baby grow and move and kick my ribs, find out the gender on the ultrasound, paint the room (yes, they'll share), drink a lot of dealcoholized beer (it's summer, after all - wink)... and to practice trusting God.

And yet - after all that - I also feel less "comfortable" in this third pregnancy. With Autumn I was naive. With Peyton, I felt somewhat certain that God would not break me again so quickly after her sister's death. But now... it's kinda hard to describe - other than to say that my heart's desire is to rest on God's goodness. To wait. To hope - preferably without fear.

I want to hang out with the whole passel of girls in our church who are expecting ( 3 within weeks of us!), and not be a reminder of what could happen. Honestly, as I've heard each joyful announcement, I've sent a plea heavenward, "Lord. Please don't let any of us be the one left behind..." I've done that. Yet even as that prayer is uttered, I know He both gives and takes away... and He sustains in both cases.

I want to watch God create this miraculous life - as He has done twice in my womb before - and simply marvel. He does not need my peace of mind to do that - nor does my anxiety hinder him. Good to remember.

So, only... counting quickly... 25 weeks to go. (small smile)
Thanks for your prayers, everyone.

For Real?

There is a LOT of our lawn showing. At this rate the snow is going to be gone within a week.
Wow.
I remember this happening when I was about 14...
But we'll see if March decides to reverse the whole "Lion-to-Lamb" thing...

Home of Ch-ch-ch-champions

I'm so very thankful I don't live in Edmonton. :)

In case the link doesn't work, I'll expand.

Edmonton had the dubious distinction of being the second-coldest place on earth Saturday night. Only 2 degrees below a Siberian outpost. It was -46 Celsius before windchill. Fahrenheit? (Cover your eyes my Arizonan friends) -50.8 degrees.

Seriously? Wow. I don't feel so bad about my -26 today, even if it does feel like -40. You can convert that yourselves with my handy-dandy calculator on the sidebar if you'd like.

Or, if you're reading this within a 100-mile radius, maybe you just don't want to think about it.

:)

July (holy cow!) 17th

Some stuff:

- Second of 3 weddings to be attended this summer tomorrow. Congratulations Darcy and Sam!

- My girlie cannot decide where she wants to crawl or walk. Her newest thing is holding on to the furniture and then totally letting go - standing there for a while with no hands and then grabbing on to the furniture again and clapping while braced with her elbows. She's oh-so-proud of herself.

- Activia is a rip-off! They say to take the 14-day challenge but only sell sets of 12 and 24. So you HAVE to buy more! I love it though... I didn't realize what a good-tasting yogurt it was. But still!

- We're having a little bit of trouble keeping up with the yardwork with our schedules. Kurt actually phoned the neighbors last night to ask if he could cut his grass after 9pm. They were fine with it - but that was the soonest he could get out there. Sigh.

- I actually like the colder weather. I know the crops are having a hard time... but I feel a lot better when it's mild.

- I've been working more than the previously decided on 1-day per week - but by God's grace it hasn't been too bad. I have willing babysitters, and I work super-close to home so I've been able to go home and nurse Peyton at lunch a lot of days. And my manager and coworkers have been really great about letting me do some half-days... so I can still go in and help with the heavy hours and have either the morning or afternoon off. And Kurt is happy because there is a little bit more money coming in.

- Speaking of money: Does anyone watch "Til Debt Do Us Part"? Well, watching it with Kurt dramatically changed my life. This is typed tongue-in-cheek and kinda whiny.
We are now on a cash-only budget. To say I was reluctant would be an understatement. I love Visa. Don't get me wrong - I'm careful with it and we always pay it off... but what are a few more dollars at WalMart on a Visa, right? Right. And besides - we get points!
But NOW I look at my dwindling cash-stash and think: "Hmmm... maybe I don't need that recipe book today." or "Maybe I should wait until next month to buy some more flower pots." or "I guess I could live without Party Lite for a few months." *Sigh* (the last one is a kicker...)
We haven't cut up our credit or debit cards - it's an honor system and I'm glad Kurt trusts me to not be sneaky. Besides - he gave me the bulk of our 'disposable' cash and only kept a fraction for himself... so that makes up for the crazy idea, I guess. ;)

- I should go walk now - Peyton is sleeping and I've got to redeem the time. The best thing I've done in a long time was start to listen to the bible on CD while exercising. Treadmill time isn't exactly heavy-duty mental work... so I'm get about a half-hour of uninterupted time in the bible - it's just that instead of me reading it it's being read to me. I've noticed a huge change in my prayer life and my appreciation of Jesus grows daily - and as a side-effect my butt is getting smaller! Sweet, right? I know. :-D

Thanks for reading!

Spring (and Assorted Thoughts about God)

I'm so thankful that the past 5-plus months could be summed up with the word contentment.
This time last year I could not imagine writing that. I feel like I have spent so much of the last 2 years waiting and anticipating the future.

Hurry winter - end!
Hurry spring - move into summer!
Ugh! Summer is so hot and I'm so pregnant - come on fall!

As those last few weeks moved so agonizingly slow towards the hopeful meeting of our daughter I couldn't even let myself imagine the winter to come - let alone seeing the snow melt!

God's faithfulness is pretty obvious in the whole seasonal-change thing. I mean, even though (especially in this part of the world) it seems as though winter will never end spring always eventually comes. The other day we saw Canada geese back. Soon it will be the crows... and then I'll see little green hints on all our trees. And then one day we'll have to turn on the air-conditioner! The joys of sharing all these things with Peyton is exciting. And for the first time in two years, I hope that summer lasts a really long time. :)

I've been reflecting on the fact that although I couldn't have pictured this time, God always knew it would come. Through the darkest valleys and the deepest pits, He knew the time would come when I would lift my eyes heavenward, take a big cleansing breath and announce to all who would listen, "He carried me through!"

I can still see the dark valley's rim behind me - but I don't feel like I'm teetering on the ledge anymore. The sadness over my beautiful Autumn is still there - always at the edges of my joy.
We still have a few pictures up through the house - some favorites - of our first and only day with her. Some days I pause in what I'm doing, sit down in front of them and the tears come as I just wish... to know what she would look like, sound like, feel like - if she would have been more of a cuddler than her sister (who always needs to be looking around), if I'd be having toddler challenges and tea parties and tickle times...

Peyton is not a replacement - but her birth and life are the proof that - like the seasons that change - God has been faithful to me. He was not obligated - I didn't expect her. But she is here and - by His grace - the joy that she gives me is a true joy. When I look at pictures of myself holding her or if we spend time playing in front of the mirror I can see the difference that 5 months of contentment have made in my countenance.
After we lost Autumn the Psalms of sorrow and grief spoke to my soul. I felt forsaken, alone, bruised and broken. I was lonely and incomplete... and the knowledge that the Lord draws near to those kind of emotions was a special comfort and strength. But today my heart cries out "You have restored me, Oh God my salvation!" And the neat part is that having been broken makes the recovery more complete.

It's like always having been thankful for health - then getting cancer. If you make it through surgery, radiation and chemo, endless blood panels and the illness that comes with all of it and hear the doctor say "remission" - the realization that you are "healthy" is never taken for granted again.

I believe with every fiber of my being that all things are from His hand - joys and sorrows. Otherwise He wouldn't be God. If losing Autumn was somehow out of His control then I could justifiably wonder what event He would lose control of next. The comfort would always be questioned and never complete - always wondering "what next?". But for me, knowing He did it made it a given that at some point - in some way - I would make it through the all-consuming pain of lowering my firstborn child into a grave. I didn't - and still don't - know exactly how it all works... but I had confidence that He is faithful and He has a purpose and that I could rest in it. There were days when that was all I could do... my blog is full of those posts which if I sit and read them brings all the heartache rushing back.

Seeing the cardboard testimonies video was further proof. There are others who have suffered so much more pain than me - but the same God carries His children through each trial.

So spring - with birds and mud and weather that seems so warm (but is actually still too cold to open my windows at night) is really proving to be a season of thankfulness for me this year.
Wow - praise God.

Thanks for reading, everyone...
kendall

Another Weather Post?

Even though it is (gag me) minus 27 (minus 38 with the windchill) I know that spring draws close because my house is a degree and a bit higher than the thermostat setting. And I'm not baking or cooking. The sun is just high and warm... and I praise God for His faithfulness in once again ending winter. :)
I'll post soon... at least a couple before we go on our trip - hopefully. :)