This past year is difficult to describe. Overwhelming sorrow. Cautious enthusiasm. Unbroken trust. And just really, really missing our baby girl.The sadness feels very near today, though. All the wondering what she would look and act like makes me realize that it will forever been an unknown. But it's also partially because I'm empathizing strongly with Molly as it is her daughter's one-year birthday today. If you think of it, pray for both of our families. Sadness deep in the heart is something only God can cure - but He uses the prayers of His people to accomplish that.
I'm listening to the words of Mercy Me's "My Heart will Fly" as I type and remember (it's on the player if you want to find it). It echos my heart today.
"Why this happened I can hardly explain -
Why write the script with such heartache and pain?
Could there not have been an easier way?
Watching life through this glass so faded - I cannot see the bigger picture taking place...
Oh to understand one day...
And my heart will fly - when I finally see you face to face
and my tears will fly away
It won't be long till we all go home
with all things revealed - and on that day we'll finally know
Oh - as we are fully known...
And what appears as incomplete
is still completely yours
and one day we'll see as we've been seen and we'll soar..."
Why write the script with such heartache and pain?
Could there not have been an easier way?
Watching life through this glass so faded - I cannot see the bigger picture taking place...
Oh to understand one day...
And my heart will fly - when I finally see you face to face
and my tears will fly away
It won't be long till we all go home
with all things revealed - and on that day we'll finally know
Oh - as we are fully known...
And what appears as incomplete
is still completely yours
and one day we'll see as we've been seen and we'll soar..."
I believe, Lord - help me in my unbelief!
Blessings to all of you,
k.
6 comments:
These are the days we fight for joy, my dear sister. I'm praying you'll win the fight. Praising God for the times we need to lean on Him for we cannot possibly do it on our own. I love you.
Thinking about you today. Time is a funny thing isn't it? Tomorrow will be 8 months for us...
Today we went to the funeral home to pic out the gravestone. Thanks for your info about RoseCity Memorials. I checked out their webpage and our funeral home was affiliated with them (and yes Camrose is pretty close to us - 45 min.) Brian wanted to go through our funeral home because they have treated us well and because we live in a small town we kinda know the people a bit more personally. Anyways, we got it ordered and it's made the same place yours was. (I described it a bit on Brennan's blog).
Thoughts & prayers to you today. Those milestone are just a bit harder...
What an awesome song, don't think I have heard that one. I know what you mean about it sometimes not feeling real, especailly as our lives move on and change. But the changes are good...healing. Lily's b-day was a hard day for us but then 5 days later we got our new little blessing. Thinking of you and praying for you through the next month.
I cry with you with today at 'what appears as incomplete' and feel the depth of the ache of really, really just missing someone. Clinging to the promise that we are still 'completely Yours', despite not fully knowing or understanding. Trusting with you...
Kendall, no words describe accurately how your words on this blog have ministered to me. Thank you.
Till our tears fly away,
Rosanna
Kendall,
My heart breaks for you and Kurt everytime I think about Autumn, and although God's plan is perfect in every way, it seems at times that this alone does not take away the deep sorrow and sadness of her so very short life. I pray these things for you and Kurt now and as you need in the future: God's unsurmountable peace, His love that can not match any other, indescribable joy, and trust in the One that carries you through the toughest times.
Love you guys!
Kendall, YOU have inspired me SO much and I haven't 'had the time, lately,' to get on your blog, due to the caregiving I have to do, and the VERY HARD time, I am having, with my health:(
BUT, I had written, on my calendar, that the 25th is the day you were supposed to be inducted. I pray "with ALL my heart" that everything goes
'easy and wonderful!!'
With my being a "new authentic Christian," through MY "acts of love"', the world, for me, has gone from "utter disturbance!!" to a WONDERFUL and REJOICING life!!! I have prayed for 'this' for as long as I can remember:):)
But, my Daughter, Vicki, brought me, to your WONDERFUL website and I CAN NOW see the "amazing ways" of the Lord. I owe this, in part, to you.
YOU ARE TRULY MY GREATEST "INSPIRATION:):)"
You will be in my prayers, ALL day, and I will rejoice in hearing about your "amazing gift," that God has so DESERVINGLY given to you:):)
YOU 'deserve" this for your AMAZING faith in our 'WONDEROUS' GOD:):)"
God Bless you and your 'little girl" as SHE makes her 'entry into the world' and may she be healthy and PERFECT:):)
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