Friday, September 21, 2007

Thoughts About Trust

I've been thinking about this baby and the reality of bringing him or her home a lot lately. I know in the past God has been gracious to me in letting me trust Him: first with getting pregnant, secondly with maintaining the pregnancy (especially early), and third with keeping this baby safe inside (with the cyst). All of those "trusts" came after the battle of the mind really concluded, "Your will be done."

But I'm wondering what it is going to be like for me when he/she comes out? Will I still trust God with the fact that my baby's days are numbered: as are all of ours - and that He'll do what is best? Will I trust Him with his/her safety? Happiness? Salvation? Or will I be plagued by worry, doubt, uncertainty - and the desire to control? :)

See, up until now, I've seen this baby as part of me... simply put: if I'm safe, it will be safe. But soon (Lord willing - smile) it will be out - a human being who lives apart from me. I'll no longer breathe for it, circulate it's blood, keep it warm... as soon as he/she arrives it is "all-systems-go"... and I'll have to start a whole new part of my life trusting God for my son or my daughter who now exists apart from me. Shoot - that feels strange to even write! I should practice some more... see below the picture... (chuckle)

So, if you think of it, pray for me. I'll need it, I'm sure. :)
(And yes, this baby is me at 10 days old... I have the white blanket that I'm on now - my GG White made it for me - and now it is draped on the bassinet waiting for our son or daughter (see, I said I'd practice!). I'll have to do a side-by-side comparison after to see if the baby really does look like me after we take a few pictures.)

1 comment:

jem said...

Aww! You are beautiful! I know your baby will be just as amazing.