Guess Who Is Taking A Bottle?

And guess who that means more sleep for?
That's right - me! :)
Although the flip side is less for Kurt, I suppose. I'm more than thankful for a husband who is not only willing to assist this way - but who is eager to. (I love you, honey!)
I still have to pump - but since supply isn't much of an issue (Mooo-ooo!) there are 3 full bottles at all times in the fridge. Have I mentioned that my Modella electric pump was the SINGLE best purchase I've made in the last month-and-a-half? :)

Just so you know I am really, really trying hard to not make this blog about breastfeeding, peeing, pooping, and gassy nights. However, my life is really revolving around that right now.

Humor me: Saturday night was about as bad as it has gotten. Even the gripe water didn't work until the 3rd try. She exhausted herself crying, nursed, and then fell into a deep sleep around 2:30. So, between that and "the person who sleeps on the alarm clock side of the bed"(hint: not me!) forgetting to set that aforementioned clock, we missed church Sunday morning. At 8:15 (we're supposed to leave by 8:30), Kurt got up, fed her (yay!) and I was able to sleep until I woke up.

At 11:30!

Hokey-Dina... I must have been exhausted. But the upside of sitting up with a fussy baby until late at night was that if you crossed my mind, I prayed for you. :) I was also able to truly thank the Lord for her without resentment or frustration - I just felt bad that she felt so bad. That, more than anything, is a true indication of how God has changed me over this last year. The old Kendall would have been crying, too, I'm sure. :)

Sunday night - by comparison -was heavenly. She was content, alert, and even cheerful. I changed her at 10, nursed her a little and then she (brace yourself) slept like a log until after 2:30. Yeah, I know. I've got the Hallelujah chorus running around my head.

She's done 3-5 hour stretches since we brought her home, but I was starting to wonder what had happened to my content "If you lay me down Mommy, I promise I'll go right to sleep!" baby.

As a result of this unexpected occurrence, I had all this energy (plus a cup of strong coffee) running through my veins. So I had a perfect opportunity to clean under my bathroom sink. Yes, at 10:30 at night. (shrugging shoulders)

It's been bothering me. I think I have post-natal nesting. Whatever.

Which brings me to another point which I will start with an ardent disclaimer: I am not a pack-rat. It's actually gotten me in trouble before - throwing out things that in the heat of the cleaning moment I think, "I'll never use this!" and then later I think, "Dangit! I needed that!"

Anyway, when I was cleaning under the sink last night, I found the pregnancy test I took on March 4th (in a ziplock bag, relax). It made the move from Saskatoon and everything. And there was a moment when I was like, "Ewww... I peed on this stick and I'm keeping it?" and I was half-way (literally - my arm was extended) to throwing it out, then froze with rare indecision.

I never kept the one for Autumn. Why would I keep this one? And really - what am I going to do with it? Horrify people by placing it in a scrapbook? Ick. But as I held it, I walked over to the bassinet to look at my sleeping daughter and I just couldn't make myself pitch it in the garbage can.

There was something just so momentous about it. That pregnancy test was the start of a journey of faith that I'm realizing will probably never be over. When I look at it I'm reminded that God has taken care of me - He has never stopped. The tears that came when I saw that positive sign over 9 months ago were the second deepest I've ever cried and I was floored at His mercy and compassion.

The tiny, faint little "plus" reminded me of the day hope was conceieved after so much heartbreak, and how that hope was fully realized October 19th in the form of a tiny little girl we named Peyton Grace Elaine. Just like He had done on March 4th, 2008, God used that test at 10:30 last night to reassert His sovereigty and love for me. Looking at her chest rise and fall in peaceful sleep while holding the sign that told me God had begun to knit her inside me was enough to - once again - bring tears of thankfulness to my eyes. I remembered I can trust Him with her - after all, she was His before I even knew her.

Sigh. A lot of emotion from something that should probably just be thrown away, huh? :) Hormones...

So for now, anyway, it's sitting on my bathroom counter - still safely in a ziplock bag (because although I am sentimental, I am not unhygienic). I suppose it doesn't hurt to keep it for a little longer...

... I'll just put it away when company comes over. (lol!)