Saturday, November 24, 2007

Challenges

Today had a few challenges... not major ones - but ones that needed to be dealt with and not ignored - 'cause that always leads to come kind of repressed crankiness that ends with me in tears. And not good tears, either. No, they're the kind that have Kurt going, "What the heck!?" as he tries to comfort me and stay out of my way at the same time. Ick... not my best moments... but anyway - you get the point I hope. :)

They were little things, mostly - like dealing with my own sadness... it was almost like being at the crossroads between depression and contentment - and I had to make that choice. The Lord was gracious, and I was able to battle the sadness to the point where it didn't rule me today.

So I chose to be busy instead! :)

I did laundry - all of it - by myself. I haven't done that in months because of the washer and dryer being downstairs so Kurt always took it down and up. It felt nice. Plus, when I do it, it gets done in one day - versus over a couple of days and then the clothes are all wrinkly from sitting in the dryer for hours and hours. Of course, I am so thankful that he took care of me all those months - lest I be rebuked by him for my ungratefulness. ;)

We also talked to a few builders about some more quotes for house plans so that we can keep looking toward moving to the farm. :) Other than the money they want (!) it is pretty exciting. (chuckle) There are almost too many options out there - but I think it helps that we have our floor plan pretty much figured out... so we'll keep you posted on the (if any) progression towards "the big move".

The most daunting task of today was picking which pictures to put in Autumn's album next weekend. I'm going to scrapbooking 'get together' with my mom, and I think that I need to start the album sooner than later. But sitting down and looking at the pictures is always somewhat heart-wrenching. Furthermore, I haven't worked on pictures in over a year (so much for my "make a pre-baby album"!) and this album feels like so much more than "important". I want it to express the full depth of emotions I feel for Autumn and everything we've gone through because of her birth and death... and that is intimidating. I am actually nervous. But I got the pictures ordered, and they should be ready by tomorrow afternoon - thank you Costco! - so that step is finished. :)

We also took Oscar for a long walk in the snow today - which was fun for him and good for us. I think that God made it that fresh air and exercise was supposed to make us feel better. Other than the chill, and the sore toes (darn shoes...), and the snow down my neck... ahem.

Well - that should do it for tonight... have a good remainder of the weekend, everyone!

2 comments:

Christy said...

That scrapbook is a beautiful idea! A good way to keep Autumn's memory alive. You will have to post some pictures of it!

Unknown said...

I love you. I'm praying for you today. I know exactly what you mean by the line between depression and contentment. It is a choice...and a hard one. We must choose Christ! Again, I love you! Laurie