How We Became "Us"

Kurt and I have known one another since early October 2002. We met in Political Studies – introduced by Paul C. (Kurt and Paul worked at Dutch Growers together the summer previous.) We were attracted pretty much right away. But I was not in university to find a guy – and neither one of us expected to find someone in an actual university class. :-) I was attending with Grace Fellowship, and he was going to Ebeneezer Baptist. We had some pretty interesting discussions over the next few months on some sweet topics such as election, free will, the Holy Spirit... and many other issues.

The first time he asked me out was to go the ‘Bassment’ (a jazz club) with him to hear some of his friends and their new band play a gig. Of course, Kiley came along to chaperone (my idea, not Kurt’s), but after that, I was hooked on the idea of getting to know this pretty cool guy with the great smile and cute haircut.

Grace Fellowship was also starting up our Evenings of Theology on campus – to which he came- albeit cautiously at first (the first meeting he met my dad!). But God began to develop a passion for truth and a hunger for godliness in Kurt – and of course, I was rejoicing every step of the way. Not only had I found a cutie – but he was actually a cutie who was eager to think about “God Stuff”.

After a month-and-a-half of “seeing” one another, he decided he actually wanted to be my boyfriend – to which I replied “Okay, you can ask my dad.” Nothing like throwing down the gauntlet... wink-wink. ;) We were both 22 years old, and coming from totally different ideas of dating, courtship... etc. so I had no idea how he would respond, but he agreed. I also gave him the Josh Harris book Boy meets Girl which began to influence his ideas of why you date/court, and what our purpose should be in pursuing a relationship.

December 6^th, he asked my dad if he could pursue me – with marriage as the intended end. Dad told him yes with much enthusiasm (they've always had a great relationship), but also told Kurt he expected to see him within the year to ask another question. Basically, "Fish, or cut bait young man." (lol) :-) Those of you who know my dad know I’m not exaggerating his directness at all. (chuckle)

And the rest, as they say, is history. The next 5 (almost 6) months were wonderful ones of trusting His faithfulness to Himself as we encountered some pretty rough stuff. But we were also able to see how He truly had our good in mind. Because of the seriousness of the relationship, we had always seen marriage as a realistic possibility. I'd known I was in love since January... and it was an extreme exercise in patience to wait to be his wife, but it was during the last month or so (April/May) that things really started to happen.

Kurt had not been baptized as an adult – and was feeling convicted about that. So he called my dad and asked to be baptized on May 18^th – in an unheated pool on a 7 degree day. What fortitude! :-) Unknown to me, he had talked to my dad on May 17^th and told him that he needed to talk to him about marrying me.

Anyone who knows anything about my family understands that they are not easy to get together with. Especially my dad... with church business, and farm business, and family business... you get the point. :-) But that is where providence came in.

Monday the 19^th I woke up with the idea that my dear, sweet, hard-working Kurt was tired and needed some sleep. So when he called before he left for work, I told him that I wanted to give him the evening alone so he could go to bed very early and get some rest. He hummed-and-hawed about that – and left me with a “maybe”.

Unbeknownst to me, as soon as we got off the phone, he called my folks and asked he could go out there for supper that evening after work. They live an hour out of the city – going at full highway speeds – so it was going to be a marathon. He also told my mom that he would try to get in touch with a friend of mine and ask her to ask me to scrapbook that evening – but there was no answer at her house before he left for work.

When I talked to my mom later I told her my idea (remember, it really was my idea) and she suggested that just to make sure I would really let him sleep, I should maybe scrapbook with my girlfriend. I thought that was a good idea, so I called her and arranged my evening so that I would be totally busy. I think anyone who knew me at the time understood that unless I had a distraction I would have no self-control and would need to make at least one phone call… (chuckle)

My girlfriend and I had a great time – and during our scrapbooking fest (it lasted 2 days) discussed the many ways that Kurt could surprise me if he proposed. :-) Of course, our plan did not include the possibility that he could have actually traveled out to the farm to talk to dad and mom Monday night, or that he had bought the ring at EASTER when we were visiting his parents... So when we asked him later if he had used part of his evening to talk on phone with my dad and arrange a meeting – he was able to truthfully answer “Awww... no, I didn’t. But that would’ve been a good opportunity.” :-)

Meanwhile, the two of us (he and I) had been planning since Sunday night that we would go and surprise my parents by showing up on Thursday for an evening visit (Thursday was his day off). So he told me Wednesday night that he had a surprise for me... and let me figure out the fact that he had planning a picnic about 5 miles from my house overlooking the river and the old fort. Because of my week of investigation and questioning, I had completely ruled out the possibility of being proposed to so soon. Furthermore, I was completely distracted by the red herring – the picnic details. He’s so clever…

Once we got there we set up and began to eat - relaxing and enjoying one another’s company. I had known he had written something that I wasn’t supposed to see – and he brought it out (not fast enough for me) and told me to listen.

It was a poem about a “princess” (one of his nicknames for me is princess beautiful - he coined that after we watched Life is Beautiful) who is met by a guy on a quest. He tells her that he has been looking for a wife his entire life (I had no clue yet), and tells her all the qualities about her that make her fitting (still, I’m thinking “good job, Kurt, this is a pretty nice poem”), and then asks her to come to “marriage castle” with him. (And I STILL had no idea!) But he signed it, “Love, Kurt."

From the start of our relationship, we had agreed to not tell one another that we loved each other until he proposed. So I just stared at him for a moment and said, “Are you proposing to me?” To which he replied “I love you, Kendall, and I want to marry you. Will you marry me?” and I said, “You’re really proposing to me???” One of the things I love about him is his patience (chuckle) – so he just laughed and said, “Yes, I am.” I managed to hold back the tears – and ended up just with a simple, “Yes!” (Meaning, "Dag-nabit, boy - I love you bunches and bunches!") :-) Then he pulled out a box of chocolates he had been saving for “desert” and there, in the heart-shaped place, was the most beautiful ring I have ever seen (yes, I was in love and super-happy – but this was a gorgeous ring!).

After that we just talked and laughed and cuddled and discussed his most-excellent sneakiness. We also spent some time reflecting on all the circumstances God used to bring us together. Then we went to tell my mom and dad, call his folks, see my grandparents (both sets) and phone some other family.... All the while we kept looking at one another with big grins and saying, “We’re really engaged!” :)

And that, dear friends, is how I got proposed to. :) Here we are, almost 5 years later. Although the circumstances right now are not my most favorite, this is a great story for me to remember on some rougher days. The Lord hasn’t dropped us yet - not even close. I am so thankful He’s the same God who made us “The Manzs’”... 'cause those circumstances were so joyful - how can I doubt His goodness? :)